The Daily Mail posted a bunch of them, but I don’t want anyone to have to go to the Daily Mail site (FUCK no) so I grabbed a few to post here. The better option, I promise.
Whatcha wearing there, Thor?
Hating Chris Pratt as a person but loving Star-Lord is really hard, it suuuuucks.
NEB U LA
KRAGLIN! Is it weird that I’m almost more exited to see him than any of the other GOTG, since he sat out Infinity War and all? I wasn’t expecting him to even be in this movie! I have no idea what role he’ll play here but I hope it’s something big.
Fans have long suspected that we’ll see the Guardians in the next Thor movie, based on how Avengers: Endgame ended and the fact that Thor is coming out before Guardians 3, and now it’s confirmed. Vin Diesel confirmed the news to ComicBook.com while promoting Bloodshot: Thor will also, the director talked to me about Thor will incorporate…
Ooooh! Oooh, good news to… well, some extent, for me. I still really don’t like how Peter was written in Infinity War and Endgame. Hopefully this film will treat him better if he’s in it? Ah well. And maybe a chance for some Valkyrie/Mantis interaction if possible?
But the one I really want to see the most is Gamora. :/
I literally can’t even explain how excited I am about all this!!! (Uh, so I’ll let other bloggers do it for me?)
I may be most thrilled of all about Jane as a new Thor. I love Jane to pieces. But then the Valkyrie thing, my god, is that finally confirmation she’s the “first Marvel LGBT character” we’ve all been waiting for?!?!
Um. Is Thor 4 gonna end with a Valkyrie/Jane pairing? Please, please say yes.
Waking up this Sunday morning my head is still throbbing with a slight headache from all of the exciting news last night from Marvel Studios. It was said there was going to be a panel depicting what’s next for Phase 4 of the MCU, I knew there was going to be some information about the upcoming Black Widow movie and Eternals film but…I was not expecting what would transpire next.
Today, I’m recapping the mind-blowing event last night. You may have been like me, refreshing the Twitter and following along with the live tweets and updates on the websites. If not, prepare for your mind to be blown! Enjoy.
The First Eleven Years
The panel began with a giant montage celebrating the first eleven years of the MCU. Avengers: Endgame spearheaded the end of the montage with Thanos saying, “I am inevitable” followed by Tony Stark’s already-iconic response, “And I am Iron Man.” A few more clips of Endgame were shown before the logo for the first three phases of the MCU was released, which you can see in the picture above. The Infinity Saga. Isn’t it beautiful?
So the dust has settled on Avengers: Endgame now, and I’ve had months to turn my problem with it over and over in my head. Really, I think most of my negative feelings are encapsulated in one scene: the one where Thor leaves his people behind and gets aboard ship with the Guardians in the end.
Bear in mind everything that’s happened to these characters at this point. Thor’s lost his brother and spent five years in a haze of bad mental health. Peter’s lost Gamora, thought he got her back, and lost her (in a different way) again. Drax has wanted to kill Thanos since the first movie he was in, Thanos is now dead, and… nothing. Rocket lost all his friends for half a decade and suddenly they’re back. And so on. No-one gets to react to any of this. Like, not anything. Instead they hang around and laugh while Peter and Thor have a pissing contest over who gets to be leader.
Like… that’s it? That’s where you think these characters should be right now? Really?
It’s all the worse because that scene should be about Gamora. She was the cog the whole of Infinity War spun around, hell she was the cog the whole Thanos story spun around, and what happens to her? She gets thrown in a pit, brought back from the past, allowed to fight a little and then more or less forgotten about.
Does Gamora get even a reaction shot when Thanos, her tormentor, the person who’s haunted her and brutalized her for three damn movies, dies at last? No, she does not. Okay, my slightly infuriated thoughts went at the time, perhaps maybe the last scene with the Guardians might be aboutherand where she is and how her friends will start the search for her? Nope! Instead it’s about… Thor. Bad luck.
So yeah. I wanted to stop short of saying “It’s sexist” but I can’t because really none of the important women in Endgame get their due at all, not just Gamora. Captain Marvel got built up and built up, but she’s in the movie for like… five minutes, and we don’t get to learn her thoughts and feelings about anything going on. (She has close friends on Earth, we learned in her solo movie, but she doesn’t even mention them or worry about their fate.) Black Widow gets agency in her sacrifice at least, but then – not unlike Gamora actually – she’s forgotten about. While Tony gets the massive funeral and the tributes, Hawkeye remembers Natasha in one line at the end. Nothing the Avengers did in this film would have been possible without her but she’s not getting any of the accolades.
Nebula is a strange case, because she does get a lot of agency and depth in this movie, but I can’t forgive the scene where she kneels over Thanos – the man who abused her and murdered her sister – and closes his eyes. That makes no sense. It’s bewilderingly out of character and if it was supposed to make her more palatable as a heroine, or something, it doesn’t. The best Nebula line is in the second Guardians movie, I think, when Gamora tells her she could help all the little girls in the world who are suffering like they used to. “I will help them by killing Thanos,” Nebula says, and that’s the line which turns her from a sympathetic villain into (finally) a crusader against injustice and abuse. To have her show a shred of tenderness against her father takes all that away, and it’s so, so baffling to me that apparently the writers couldn’t see that.
Then there’s the women the movie appeared not to have time for, like Okoye. She was prominent on the poster but got maybe two lines in the movie. There was time to follow Hawkeye’s Adventures in Murder but not time to check in on her? Especially since her storyline – let’s assume she was left essentially the leader of a whole, suddenly devastated country since the royal family were dead – would have been really interesting. Come to think of it Natasha falls into this category too, since she was supposed to have a great subplot that ended up on the cutting room floor, because of course it did.
Some of the MCU women who’re bit players in this one – think Valkyrie, Pepper etc – actually do get treated well in the movie, credit where credit’s due. Pepper’s last scene with Tony hit really hard, for example, because it’s played straight. And I mean that sounds ridiculous, of course the death of a major character in one of the biggest franchises of all time is gonna be played straight you’d hope, but there were moments where I wondered, because this movie is so incapable/terrified of believing people would take it seriously. When Thor bids goodbye to his mother and leaves her to die, after the heartfelt I love you’s she tells him to eat a salad because he’s fat now and that’s funny and we’re meant to laugh. When Gamora finds Peter again and no longer knows who he is, which is a tragedy for both of them, she kicks him in the balls and he rolls around in pain making a quip and that’s meant to be funny too. Is it not realistic that Tony’s death might have been interrupted by someone falling over, or a fart joke? Is it weird I’m almost surprised that it wasn’t?
Anyway. Wait, why did I hate Thor for a little bit? Well, I can’t bring myself to hate him really, or even dislike him, he’s an adorable golden retriever of a man. But that scene with him and the Guardians at the end is teasing Guardians of the Galaxy 3, and that is the last chance anyone has to give Gamora her due, to make her story and her constant victimization mean anything. And with that scene, suddenly her importance was pushed to one side to make room for Thor. Who despite his many good qualities is still a white straight able-bodied male superhero, not exactly an underrepresented group. And he’s also one who has three movies bearing his name already, plus major roles in all the Avengers films. Who looked at Thor, looked at Gamora, and decided he not she was the one the audience should have more of? And that Gamora is so unimportant that in the scene where her friends should be discussing how to find her, they are instead trading jokes with him, because the one BIG thing Endgame can’t take seriously is its women?
You’re great and I like you fine, Thor. Honestly. And you didn’t deserve those fat jokes. But you’re done. Now take your hammer, and your snazzy axe thing, and just… go away for a bit.
So it’s been a few days now since Avengers: Endgame came out and I think I’m finally ready to put the Analysis Hat, and the Complaints Hat, and the Celebration Hat on. There were some things I loved and some things I loathed. Also since a lot of people haven’t seen it yet you have to click the ‘more’ button:
I’m so tired. I just wanna curl up in Thor’s big muscular arms and use his bara titties as firm pillows for my aching back and neck. He could summon some rain for ambiance as I slept, too. Gosh Thor would be so good for nap time. I don’t even care about how staticy my hair would get, and if he had to adventure??? Just put me in one of those toddler slings strapped to his chest, I’ll drool all over it. He’d let me do that too. He’s just so good. 10/10 quality naps.
which one of the guardians of the galaxy wrote this
they all want this, Drax is just the only one brave enough to write it down