However, Star Wars does not have a Christmas! Or any kind of holiday season, I gather. That did not stop me from writing this spoiler-laden, slightly Clone Wars-borrowing-from take on A Christmas Carol. Luke is about to be visited by three spirits! Ooh yes.
[I wasn’t kidding when I said ‘spoiler-laden’! This will ruin the movie for you if you haven’t seen it!]
Okay it isn’t actually self-aggrandizing, it just feels that way because I hate blowing my own trumpet. BUT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE COOL to do a meme where everyone looks through their fanfics and picks out the five best lines they’ve written and posts them with commentary! Does that sound good? I’ll start, as you may have guessed…
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5. “I am not a solid creature,” said Grantaire. “I need many hands to mould me.”– Stone
God I miss Grantaire. I mean, you know, he hasn’t gone anywhere, but I miss him. I miss how everyone used to talk about him. This story was for a ficathon! And I actually had kind of a blast writing it, even though it deals with some extremely crappy stuff. I think I got Grantaire in-character, because he keeps saying seemingly meaningless-but-actually-meaningful stuff. Which is just the sort of thing I like to write!
4. “Many Of Them Were Killed. But I Can Say With Absolute Certainty That They Did Not Die.”
– Garnet to Mayor Dewey, Don’t Ruin It
With a gimmick (I mean that in a honestly adoring way) ripped off from Terry Pratchett, Garnet sums up my Thoughts On History. Also, I absolutely adore Don’t Ruin It, if only because “a Terry Pratchett-inspired Steven Universe/Les Miserables crossover that explores the relationships between Enjolras and Grantaire, Pearl and Rose, Pearl and Mayor Dewey, Mayor Dewey and his son, Garnet and Pearl, and humans and stories” is something that sounds nigh-on impossible to pull off. But I hope I did it.
3. “It’s very likely that this Amy was a prostitute,” said one of the men. – Amy
This line delights me on several levels, most of them sort of meta-y re: the treatment of women in art, be that art the paintings of Vincent van Gogh or the episodes of Doctor Who. Also that whole section of the story is I guess is a kind of – nod to? statement about? – the fact that Amy was indeed created by a man who has problematic views on women, but right now I’m creating her. I get to say what she is! Or perhaps she does? I would need a lot of time and effort to follow any of that through to its natural conclusion, but yeah. I like that line.
dear GOD, TTTAITP. It’s still the fanfic I’m proudest of to this day. (its concept was, basically, ‘take all that icky stuff that happened to Amy during the pregnancy arc and actually RUN WITH IT, just like the writers didn’t’.) This is, um, a line. But a very very important one considering the fanfic’s subject matter. It shouldn’t have to be, mind.
1. I AM AFRAID OF WAR AND WEAPONS. I AM AFRAID OF THE LICH. AND I AM AFRAID OF YOU. – Death (that Death? Sure) to Simon Petrikov, Humanity in the Abstract
Death from Adventure Time turns out to be the same Death from Discworld (it’s vaguely explained, don’t worry) and he pays Simon Petrikov a visit. They have a discussion about life, death, mental illness, Marcy and monsters, and then this line happens. It is important to me for Reasons. Hey, maybe they could be your Reasons too!
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If you’re a fanfic writer and you want to do this, you should totally do it!
Title: A Summary of Events Rating: PG13 I think, since it involves depression and murder and swearing and many unpleasant real-world scenarios, many of which are happening right now in fact Fandom: Thunderbirds/Thunderbirds Are Go
Summary: This is best described as ‘a look at how IR might function in the real world’ except obviously it’s not quite the real world because it’s several decades in the future and also after a war. I also hope it’s not Dark And Gritty, but rather Pointed And Vaguely Satirical.
Features a bit of fourth-wall breaking, which starts…..now.
YEAR: 2070 DATE: 28 JULY
This summary of recent events has been put together as a voting aid. It is based on your social media activity, your browser history and your work profile…
THIS IS FINALLY DONE! It also has a proper title now, which I will edit into the previousparts.
Contains what is hopefully some mild satire as well as some fourth-wall breaking. Is an attempt at putting the whole concept of Thunderbirds into a ‘real’ future world, but hopefully isn’t Dark and Gritty with it.
Will also be on AO3, with some slight edits, later.now
Hey! I did go back to it! And it’s nearly done now! (Here’s part one. It hasn’t got a title anymore though.)
Anyway, this continues to be a look at how IR would function in the ‘real world’, with some hopefully-satire thrown in. All the trigger warnings from Part One apply here too, I think.
PS: All the newspaper headlines mentioned in this fic are real.
Be Not So Fearful – AC Newman | Lay Me Down – The Oh Hellos | Ain’t No Man Righteous, No Not One – Bob Dylan | Beautiful Dawn – The Wailin’ Jennys | Stand By Me – Ki Theory | Home – Phillip Phillips | Hold On To What Believe – Mumford and Sons | Lean – The National | Blackbird Song – Lee Dewyse | Standing In The Way – Anthony Stewart Head | Titanium – Migz Haleco | Open Arms – Elbow | Gale Song – The Lumineers | Ain’t No Grave – Johnny Cash | Lead Me Home – Jamie N Commons | The Call – Regina Spektor | I Will Rise Up – Lyle Lovett | Sigh No More – Mumford and Sons | Tomorrow Will Be Kinder – The Secret Sisters | Fear No Darkness, Promised Child – Timo Raisanen
That Steven Universe/Les Miserables fic is done! Who wants a read?
Rating: PGprobably
Fandom: Steven Universe/Les Miserables, sort of Summary: In order to impress Pearl, Mayor Dewey attempts a one-man production of famed musical Les Miserables.
Exactly what you would expect to happen, probably, happens.
Remember I said I’d write this? I wrote this! It’s also available on AO3.
Amy
When Amy Pond was nine years old, her art teacher presented a replica of Vase With 12 Sunflowers to the class, and asked every child to describe how it made them feel.
“Happy,” said most of the pupils, associating sunflowers with summer and sunshine and childhood.
“Sad,” said Mels.
Amy thought about it harder than anyone. “Proud,” she finally said.
“Why?” asked the teacher.
“I don’t know,” said Amy.
“Well,” the teacher said, smiling indulgently, “that’s not much good to anyone, then, is it?”
“Her name is on it,” Rory spoke up.
“Well spotted, Rory,” said the teacher. “But the Amy whose name is on here is a different Amy, who died a long time ago. She must have been a friend of Vincent’s.”
*
When Amy Pond was fourteen years old, she attended a talk at the local art museum. The subject was Van Gogh, his paintings and life.
Amy had not thought to dress up. Everyone else was in sensible clothes, suits, dresses. She was wearing a miniskirt. All eyes turned to her as she walked down through the rows of seats. Some of the glances were merely curious. Some were not.
The last available seat in the room was next to a middle-aged man who looked Amy up and down with obvious interest. Amy glared at him, did not adjust her skirt, and listened to the talk quietly and determinedly.
At the end, the discussion between the panelists turned to the mysterious inscription on Vase With 12 Sunflowers, and the woman’s name written there with love.
“It’s very likely that this Amy was a prostitute,” said one of the men.
*
When Amy Pond was nineteen years old, she and Mels went to Paris for a short holiday. After two days’ worth of Disneyland, Amy insisted on visiting the Louvre.
“You’re so boring,” Mels chided. “Just like an old lady.” But she came too.
When they got to the main gallery, it was packed with tourists and schoolchildren. All Amy could see was people’s backs, rather than the paintings she had come to get closer to. Mels elbowed a few people aside so that she could get a better view, but Amy realised she couldn’t be bothered. She felt incredibly disappointed, like she had suddenly been denied access to something belonging to her.
A young tour guide was giving a talk to a group of tourists, and she had reached Vase With 12 Sunflowers.
“People often ask who Amy was and the truth is we don’t really know,” the guide said. “But I like to think of her as a sort of…unattainable object for Van Gogh.”
“This is boring,” Amy said to Mels. “Let’s go.”
“Amy was his muse, his ideal of womanhood, perhaps…”
*
When Amy Pond was twenty-one years old, she went poking about in the TARDIS library.
“Amy,” said the Doctor, “I can’t help noticing you’re digging out all my books on Vincent Van Gogh. And some of those are from the thirtieth century, so do be careful with them.”
“I just want to look.”
“You want to look to see if you could have saved him,” the Doctor said gently, but (Amy thought) a little patronizingly.
“No,” said Amy.
“It’s understandable. You’ve suffered a lot of loss recently,” the Doctor said, before seemingly catching himself and saying, “Let’s go have some fun, eh, Amy?”
But Amy suddenly smacked the book she was reading with her fist, and stared at him with tears in her eyes. The Doctor hurried over to her, and as Amy tightened her fingers on his wrist they both stared at the text on the bottom of the page.
It is unlikely that “Amy” ever existed at all…she was most likely an imaginary figure concocted by Van Gogh to deal with his splintering reality...
*
When Amy Pond was twenty-three years old, she and her husband and her daughter and her Doctor visited the Great Galactic Art Gallery, which held fine paintings and artworks from every corner of the universe.
“Doctor,” she called to him with a slight gasp in her voice. He was giggling at a sculpture with River. “Doctor. Vincent is here.”
The Doctor came over and observed Vase With 12 Sunflowers, even brushing it with his fingertips a little. “See,” hesaid. “Itold him.”
But even as he turned away Amy found that she couldn’t. She pressed the little red button by the side of the painting, and a speaker into which visitors could ask questions popped up. “What would you like to know?” asked a robotic voice.
“Who is Amy?” asked Amy.
“Historians do not know,” said the voice, “but they believe she must have been a woman loved by van Gogh.”
*
When Amy Pond was thirty-seven years old, she bought a framed copy of Vase With 12 Sunflowers and hung it up in the New York apartment. When the sun set, the light hit it just right.
“That’s pretty,” Rory said to her. “You always loved van Gogh, didn’t you?”
“Yeah,” Amy said, her voice tinged with nostalgia. “Even met him once.”
Rory was eating a sandwich as he glanced at the painting, and Amy watched was amusement as his chewing suddenly slowed.
“Oh my god,” he said, after swallowing his food. “I remember we talked about it in school once. Vincent’s friend Amy. That’s you, isn’t it? You’re Amy!”
Title: A Summary of Events
Rating: PG13 I think
Fandom: Thunderbirds/Thunderbirds Are Go
Warnings: People being jerks about mental illnesses. People being jerks about political/equality issues. Looots of people being jerks. Er, swearing?
Notes: This is my favourite kind of fanfic to write – the mixed-media. It’ll probably run for two or three parts, and the title will make sense later is now a much better title. All names in this that you don’t recognise were grabbed from random writers/directors of the original series. Sorry to those who got their names given to complete arseholes.
Anyway!This isbest described as ‘a look at how IR might function in the real world’ except obviously it’s not quite the real world because it’s several decades in the future and also after a war. I also hope it’s not Dark And Gritty, but rather Pointed And Vaguely Satirical.
*
From the Global News Web:
Amid growing fears re: sustainability and the protection of borders, the Global Defense Force is holding a televised, livestreamed hearing about the recent activities of International Rescue. Viewers can tune in on IBC, ITV, Sky, and Fox News to participate in the hearing.
As per standard policy, names of the GDF councilpeople shall not be given and faces shall be obscured via hologram in the courtroom. Colonel Francesca Casey shall not be attending any proceedings, as she has voiced her displeasure at this turn of events and has been placed on indefinite leave…