patient of the week: hello doctor I have this illne-
doc martin: you are an idiot and probably also a liar. take these pills and don’t do anything and come back next week
patient: but I have an important thing-
doc martin: don’t do the thing then. idiot.
louisa: I slept with Martin.
mrs tishall: You absolute whore.
sigourney weaver: Hey it’s me!!
louisa: I am also pregnant with Martin’s baby.
the townspeople: YOU ABSOLUTE WHORE
old gun farmer: I’ve got so many guns I’m like the movie Hot Fuzz come to life, and I’m so paranoid I can’t help but shoot at everyone who crosses my path.
the townspeople: We should probably do nothing about this.
pc pennhale: I legitmately have brain damage but I’m still allowed to be a cop and carry a taser. Oh damn I just tasered someone.
doc martin: I should probably do nothing about this.
[A person is shot]
doc martin: WAS IT LOUISA?
louisa: no I’m fine
doc martin: Okay I’ll overcome my blood phobia to fix up the gunshot wound and give the old gun farmer medications and this probably won’t happen again.
[It will happen again in 3 episodes]
[patient does the thing]
doc martin: you moron. the plotdeviceium you were using for the thing you were doing reacted with your medication and nearly killed you. idiot. twat.
louisa: I’m having your baby Martin
doc martin: k
doc martin’s most recent receptionist: Don’t let the doc scare you, he’s probably quite a nice person underneath the insults and the sarcasm and the yelling and the occasionally trying to kill stray dogs and the lack of sympathy and the-
bert: That’s all right lass, we’re just simple gun farmers and stereotypical tradesfolk around here.
[Bert immediately slips on a banana skin and breaks his back]
doc martin: Louisa wait are you leaving me?
louisa: No I decided to stay here, with you, in this culturally stagnated and demographically nonsensical village full of judgemental insane people with guns.
doc martin: all righty then.
patient: I’m so sorry for questioning your judgement doc martin-
I don’t really do horror movies. They don’t mix well with my brainspace. But I DID eventually pluck up the courage to watch 2020’s The Invisible Man, after a bit of research as to what exactly it entailed. Here are five thoughts about it. Big spoilers under the poster…
1. Casting Elisabeth Moss in this was GENIUS. Everyone knows her from The Handmaid’s Tale, a show where her character is constantly oppressed and brutalised and treated as a baby-making machine. So we don’t need to see Cecilia’s past abuse at the hands of Adrian because there’s a sense in which we’ve already seen it.
2. There are a few plot holes in this movie. Not enough to ruin it, not at all, but there were some things that made me go “???” Like at the restaurant where Emily is killed, that place would almost definitely have CCTV, surely a tape would show that Cecilia didn’t do it? But it’s never even mentioned. Neither is the phone in the attic and it really bugged me that never came up.
(Also, by all accounts an invisibility suit like the one in the movie is physically impossible since you’d need a cooler and a way to breathe. And even if you solved those problems you would probably stink to high heaven, enough to alert anyone of your presence.)
3. I LOVED the tiny callbacks to the original Invisible Man. Sydney’s fashion mannequin with the top hat looks like the version from the book (I think? I recognised the look, anyway) and the patient in the hospital with the bandages looked like the more traditional movie depiction of him.
4. I did actually scream at the main jumpscare. I scream at horror movies… kinda a lot. It was the bit when Cecilia is in the attic and she throws the paint and the Invisible Man is right in front of her. (Apparently this was featured heavily in the trailers but I missed them all.) It wasn’t so much the shock of seeing something (the suit) which looked so alien but the goddamn NOISE it made. It was like a demonic hiss. Scared the life out of me.
5. This is such a great movie about gaslighting and why you should believe abuse victims. (Someone on TVTropes pointed out that Adrian literally gaslights Cecilia. He turns the gas up and flickers the lights on and off.) Yes Cecilia’s story is outlandish, but not outside the realms of possibility – people are working on invisibility technology right now – but no-one takes her seriously or bothers to check Adrian’s creepy lab-house or anything. I’m reminded here of a pretty high-profile British case from a few years ago – no-one believed the victim, but she was telling the truth.
The awful thing about the ending to this movie is, even after everything Cecilia’s been through it’s still not a happy one. Yes she’s free but her sister is still dead, her best friend probably will never see her in the same light again, Sydney’s college fund is gone… Honestly I think she would have quietly gotten an abortion and then just fallen off the face of the earth.
I worked at a Cineworld during summer 2007. Working in a cinema is uhh I guess “average” as far as jobs go, but I really enjoyed it. Even hanging about in the lobby waiting to tear people’s tickets wasn’t that bad, because I got to watch the movie trailers. There was something about being in that poorly lit lobby hearing the beautiful music from the Atonement trailer suddenly echo through the halls which always stuck with me…
Also another time I was cleaning out a Cineworld screen and I found £15 on the floor! They said I could keep it if no-one claimed it so I did get to keep it at the end of the day. That may not seem like much but to me at that time it was HUGE.
By Stephen Ippolito | October 2nd, 2020 Yesterday MCU fans learned some shocking news. Actor Jamie Foxx will return to play Electro in the upcoming Spider-Man 3 film. This afternoon, the actor confirmed the news in a post on his Instagram account that has since been deleted. The photo that he also posted, shows three […]