glass onion

Glass Onion

Glass Onion is a movie where you cannot, I repeat cannot, point at any particular plot twist and say “This is bad writing, because no person would behave this incredibly unfathomably stupidly.” We have all lived through the same past few years and if anything Elon Musk, I mean “Miles Bron” isn’t stupid enough. Close, though.

Glass Onion is a James Bond film just a little bit to the left. (A lot to the left.) I am OBSESSED with this. It has all the ingredients: Daniel Craig, a megalomaniac who wants to take over the world, beautiful women in bikinis, weird tech, important things getting blown up. A fabulous deconstruction. I bet no-one would have blinked an eyelid at the movie’s explosive ending if Bond was involved, but that’s genre, baby.

Glass Onion is the best Among Us movie they could possibly have made.

Glass Onion is a Greek tragedy (even set in Greece!) when it comes to the sisters plot. There’s a great post on Tumblr about Cassandra and Helen. The moment I realized the significance of the naming I fell even more in love with the movie than I was already.

Glass Onion is also the best modern-day Sherlock Holmes movie they could possibly have made.

Glass Onion is haunting my dreams. Last night Benoit Blanc showed up and we looked at text messages of condolence sent to the family of a murder victim. “You know how I know who the murderer is? It’s always the last person to send a text,” he drawled. WHAT IS GOING ON(ION).

Glass Onion is angry as hell and long live its anger.



in a lot of ways, benoit blanc is a love letter to the eccentric detective trope, right? but I think he gets what a lot of other characters who try to fit that archetype don’t: he is a very caring person who wants to help people.

the original Sherlock Holmes stories, everything with poirot- the two most famous eccentric detectives. both of them go out of their way to help people, even if it won’t help them solve the case.

so benoit blanc’s willingness to help strangers, concoct crazy plans, and how he will always help someone who’s scared or in emotional distress is a key part of the character type that im glad they kept.

it also sets up the female leads very well- at the end of each movie, we follow them more then blanc, and see how his kindness to them allows them to complete their story and get what they need.

I’ve always been saying that about SH – he could be anything. World-famous musician, celebrated academic genius, or he could be doing what his brother does.

But he is not.

He’s the consulting detective outside the system who helps the people said system fails. If you’re rich, he’ll take your money, sure. But if you’re poor, he’ll help you anyway.

That girl who comes to him about her new employers having a weird vibe? He doesn’t dismiss her. He takes what she’s got to say very seriously – and it ends up saving her life.

And that tells you everything you need to know about what kind of person he is. Honestly, I’m so over the cold, lonely genius trope. Not even the source material supports it.

Anyway, bless Rian Johnson’s Porg-shaped soul.

Benoit Blanc is a much, much, much better modern Holmes than BBC Sherlock.


“They didn’t actually burn the Mona Lisa, the real one is made of wood, not paper, like in the film!! Of course they wouldnt have given miles bron the real one!!”

Yeah…they didn’t burn the real Mona Lisa…because it’s a movie. Another thing is that paper might just look better than wood when it burns on film. Not only that, but it’s very realistic that miles would have obtained the real one. Rich people buy one of a kind, priceless art all the time, just because they believe they have that right.

Also, in the context of the film, it had to be the real Mona Lisa; Helen’s plan wouldn’t work if it turned out to be a fake. Miles would never always be mentioned in the same breath as the Mona Lisa if the real one didn’t burn.

I’m sorry if this makes people uncomfortable but in the Rian Johnson cinematic universe, the real Mona Lisa has been reduced to ashes.

I remember Andi saying that application of the Klear could “burn the world” and she was pretty obviously correct. So who knows what might have happened due to the arrogance and disgard for human life Miles and co had? Whole buildings could have exploded and killed thousands of people (plus probably a good few other irreplaceable works of art.) And the Klear was meant to be going into space even! I don’t know the science behind regular rockets let alone ones powered by a fictional substance but I think there was a very real danger there of a worldwide catastrophe. Let’s assume that around a million people, at a minimum, could have died because of Miles.

Under those circumstances, burning the Mona Lisa seems… kind of completely reasonable.