carol pilbasian

You know I never actually bothered to read the divorce papers Carol serves to Phil before?

“This petition states that both parties that the husband in said marriage was a terrible spouse.”

“___ hope the divorce makes you a better person and that you will stop harassing the people around you with lice” [?]

“Please do not take this document lightly. By signing this document you will ensure that you never have physical contact with Ms Pilbasian, other than the following: Hugs, High Fives, Hand Shakes, Pats, accidental bumping and or group hugs”