Amy and Rory are not amused
river song
“River Song, Amy Pond and Clara Oswald are exactly the same sexy, sassy female character Moffat loves.”
I think you mean
“River Song, Amy Pond and Clara Oswald -despite having vastly different story arcs, personalities, jobs, hobbies, lifestyles, relationships and…
I’m disqualifying River Song’s tenure as an Archaeology prof from this because RTD had oversight on that (and it’s her sole redeeming aspect as a multidimensional character).
I don’t agree at all with this. Reasoning under the cut.
[snipped due to tumblr’s incomprehensible formatting]
So let’s see, the argument you’ve presented:
They all have the same story arc, except Clara’s is different. They all have the same personality, except Clara is a bit different because she’s not ‘an oversexualised snarkfest’. They all have the same jobs, except you literally and without a trace of irony described three different jobs, whilst also labouring under the curious misconception that being a writer is a job revolving around a man’s pleasure. They all have the same lifestyles except River’s is different. They all have the same relationships except you just described three different relationships. And they all have the same personal philosophies except Clara’s is different because she likes looking after people.
Well, I’m sold.
This fell through a hole in time and space. I wonder if it’s accurate. I hope it is.
The only thing inaccurate in this piece is the adoption of Melody. They adopted a boy named Anthony, who later brought a letter to Brian Williams, telling him about the life of Rory and Amy. This is canonly confirmed in a scripted short. (x) So I was kinda sad about this missing, and Melody being the replacement. But overal this gave me goosebumps and made me ‘dawwww’ and ‘noohhhh’ like a baby!
(Tagging you so you read this ^^ sarah531)
Thanks! :D
This was written before PS came out…probably mere days before it came out, actually. I’m a bit disappointed that Anthony didn’t get to be in this article too because his existence is a detail I adore. I do very VERY much like to think the Ponds found little Melody on the streets of New York and got to raise her, though. They deserved that much! Anyway, glad you liked this. :)
Things I can’t imagine
-Clara telling anyone, even as a joke, to ‘let the others die first’
-Amy looking after two teenagers (at least not without leading them straight into mischief and probably danger)
-River calling the TARDIS a ‘cow’ and mocking it
-Amy telling the Doctor ‘you embarrass me’
-River describing herself as having ‘a bubbly personality’
-Clara hitting the Doctor with a baseball bat and then trapping his necktie in a door
-River looking at a little girl crying and saying ‘So?’
-Amy announcing she did something ‘disgracefully’
-River asking Queen Neferiti for a high-five
-Clara being a kissogram
-Amy, having being told by the Doctor to remain where she is and not to argue, responding with a scared ‘I’m not’ and proceeding to obey him
-Clara continuing to kiss, and trying to undress, the Doctor or indeed any person after they’ve said no
–River barely being able to connect a computer to the Internet
Amy saying ‘the best thing is, he really needs you’ in reference to the Doctor.
River saying ‘blimey, I hated history.’
Clara teasing the Doctor about the mysterious woman who might be his wife in the future.
Clara picking locks and saying ‘how’s a girl suppose to resist?’
Clara punching the Doctor out and handcuffing him to a computer monitor.
River being mildly embarrassed to be seen in a kissogram outfit by the Doctor or even the flight crew of a cruise ship.
Amy telling the Doctor anything even remotely like what River told him in aGMGtW.
River saying ‘good guys don’t have zombie creatures. Rule one, basic storytelling.’
Clara using stupid as a form of endearment.
Amy refusing to travel with the Doctor straight off.
River trying to bake her mum’s souffle.
Amy trying to bake her mum’s souffle.
Clara lying to the Doctor about having broken her wrist.
Clara trying to ‘hide the damage’.
Amy slapping the Doctor.
River convincing the Doctor to not destroy Gallifrey (unless she had prior knowledge that he in fact didn’t).
Clara ignoring the Doctor and telling her mother to go where she would never see her again.
River giggling the same way Clara does when she’s excited.
Clara telling the Doctor to leave her to the mercy of a monster.
Things I can’t imagine
-Clara telling anyone, even as a joke, to ‘let the others die first’
-Amy looking after two teenagers (at least not without leading them straight into mischief and probably danger)
-River calling the TARDIS a ‘cow’ and mocking it
-Amy telling the Doctor ‘you embarrass me’
-River describing herself as having ‘a bubbly personality’
-Clara hitting the Doctor with a baseball bat and then trapping his necktie in a door
-River looking at a little girl crying and saying ‘So?’
-Amy announcing she did something ‘disgracefully’
-River asking Queen Neferiti for a high-five
-Clara being a kissogram
-Amy, having being told by the Doctor to remain where she is and not to argue, responding with a scared ‘I’m not’ and proceeding to obey him
-Clara continuing to kiss, and trying to undress, the Doctor or indeed any person after they’ve said no
–River barely being able to connect a computer to the Internet