uk

are you sure england isn’t real?

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atikiology-deactivated20160509:

england is a part of britain, and it’s a common misconception that britain is a real place. i have done research, and there’s just so much that doesn’t add up.

  • it’s an island. i mean come on. an island, that’s a cliché. how’s that even supposed to work
  • there’s strange fictional food like “marmite” and “yorkshire pudding” and “baked beans” that no one would ever actually eat. baked beans. honestly.
  • everyone drinks tea all the time. no one could actually drink tea all the time
  • people don’t jump queues and don’t behave like fucking idiots when they have to wait for something. that’s just unrealistic.
  • it rains every day, that’s clearly an attempt to make it sound spooky and athmospheric. how cheap is that.
  • there’s weird money that’s useless everywhere else.
  • they have a queen apparently. haha. come on. monarchs are not real.
  • people there have strange names like Seamus and Alistair and Benedict Cumberbatch
  • the prime minister fucked a pig
  • what the fuck is scotland. kilts, castles, magic school, monster in a lake, someone made that up and i want whatever that person smoked because i’m sure it’s good
  • england is definitely not real. have you ever been there? no? checkmate.

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alcomol:

veni-vidi-linguine:

problematiclarry:

i just wanna say for any of u that arent british the sun literally has zero credibility in the uk. like everybody knows it as a sleazy tabloid thats racist, sexist and full of shit. it has a section dedicated to pictures of topless women and one of it’s columnists is katie hopkins, literally the most hated woman in Britain. like its widely read and popular but it’s reputation is probably the lowest of the low

Okay but when you said the sun I thought you meant the actual literal sun and I was so confused

we don’t have the real sun in the uk as a punishment for our sins

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gotitforcheap:

gotitforcheap:

by far the best “meme” is british lads over reacting to something normal like “IANS BLOODY GOT A WHOLE LOAF OF BREAD IN HIS FREEZER, WHAT AN ABSOLUTE MAD MAN!!!”. Gotta love Ian. 

IAN THE NUT CASE BLOODY PICKED UP  A BROOM AND STARTED SWEEPING AT THE CLUB! CERTIFIED LEDGE!!! 

This is 100% what Lads are actually like

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jcgreen72:

ultrafacts:

geeklibrarian:

natalieford:

ultrafacts:

6qubed:

ultrafacts:

obeekris-redux:

ultrafacts:

Source Want more facts? Why not follow Ultrafacts

Is this a lifetime employment? Elected by popular vote? How is suitability determined for this job?

He was recruited from Battersea Dogs & Cats Home on recommendation for his mousing skills.

He has captured the hearts of the Great British public and the press teams often camped outside the front door. In turn the nation sends him gifts and treats daily.

Larry, the Chief Mouser spends his days greeting guests to the house, inspecting security defences and testing antique furniture for napping quality. His day-to-day responsibilities also include contemplating a solution to the mouse occupancy of the house. Larry says this is still ‘in tactical planning stage’. [x]  < gov site

a leader the people can believe in

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I will never not re-re-reblog this.

testing antique furniture for napping quality

Best job ever

officialunitedstates is gonna have a hissy fit over this

okay i officially need to know what the heck happened with uk politics yesterday. someone fucked a pig?? what???

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cardboardmoose:

YUP so okay a guy called lord ashcroft has written an unauthorised biography of our (scumbag) prime minister, david cameron.

we know that when he was a student cameron was a member of a group at oxford uni called the bullingdon club, which is basically a group of rich tosspots fucking with people because they’re rich tosspots. one of their induction rituals involves burning a £50 note in front of a homeless person. that’s the kind of people they are.

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this is them in cameron’s day (he’s second from the left standing up). see what i mean about tosspots? i tell you this to give you an idea of what our illustrious prime minister got up to in his student days.

this book alleges–and i for one am inclined to believe, because there is literally nothing i would not believe about that man–that cameron was also a member of a more secret drinking club, called the piers gaveston society, named for the lover of king edward ii. 

according to the book, one of the induction rituals for the piers gaveston society that cameron participated in was putting his junk in the mouth of a dead pig. as of yet number 10 (the office of the prime minister) has released no statement as to the veracity of the allegation. that’s a really long time not to address something like this in westminster politics. a reeeally long time.

obviously everyone’s widdling themselves laughing over this because it is FUCKING HILARIOUS. many people are pointing to an old episode of british tv show black mirror in which the (fictional) prime minister fucked a pig as some kind of terrible, terrible prophecy. 

for fairly obvious reasons, this photo of cameron has resurfaced and is doing the rounds.

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along with this infamous photo of former leader of the opposition ed miliband trying to eat a bacon sandwich

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truly, today is a great day for the british people.

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macpye:

pointless-letters:

FURY: Controversy erupted across the country today, following an appearance by Labour MP Alison McGovern on Channel 4 News in which she a) was a woman, b) wore clothes, c) had breasts and d) didn’t even apologise for being a woman and having breasts but instead insisted on using her appearance on TV to talk about policy and some ideas she had to make things better for people. 

This shameful display led one complainer to send a pointless letter direct to the MP accusing her of distracting “male observers”, but fortunately some others chose to vent their rage in the Metro. So they’re fair game.

In other news, it’s twenty-fucking-fifteen.

THE NEWS ON TEN: “WOMAN HAS BREASTS! MALE VIEWERS ARE SHOCKED BY THIS REVELATION!”

[UK Petition] Allow transgender people to self-define their legal gender

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cassolotl:

As of Sunday 9th August 2015:

[LINK]

Transgender people in the UK are forced to pay to prove their identity to a Gender Recognition Panel. This process is humiliating, outdated and unnecessary. We urge the government to introduce an act equivalent to the Irish Gender Recognition Act, and allow trans* people to self-define their gender.

Having your gender recognised by the Gender Recognition Panel requires trans* people to go to pointless expense – whether requiring them to pay administration fees (and having to go through the lengthy and underfunded NHS gender transition system) or paying to attend a private clinic to receive the required evidence as well as paying to be seen by the panel.

Furthermore: no provisions are made for non-binary gender identities.

http://www.justice.gov.uk/tribunals/gender-recognition-panel

This petition (created by Metanar on Twitter, video here) has done so well and it deserves to get to 100,000 signatures.

From my first post:

Did you know that as of March 2015 only 3,906 Gender Recognition Certificates (GRCs) had been issued since the Gender Recognition Act of 2005, compared to the 8,760 patients currently being treated by gender identity clinics in the UK? Did you know that there are possibly about 56,000 trans people in the UK? Did you know that it takes years and a non-refundable £140 to apply for a GRC (though actual costs are more like £1,000), and they might decide your gender isn’t real enough to be your legal gender, and trans people are more likely to be unemployed or on low income, receiving inadequate physical and mental health care, etc.? If you’re trans but have no GRC, if anyone needs to see your birth certificate you are involuntarily outed, which is discriminatory and sometimes outright dangerous.

This change to the Gender Recognition Act 2005 is sorely needed. The current system is actively harmful. It is unnecessarily expensive, time-wasting, and judgemental.

[LINK]

This post is a huge thank you to everyone who’s signed and reblogged so far, but it’s also an appeal for more signatures and reblogs.

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