are you sure england isn’t real?


england is a part of britain, and it’s a common misconception that britain is a real place. i have done research, and there’s just so much that doesn’t add up.

  • it’s an island. i mean come on. an island, that’s a cliché. how’s that even supposed to work
  • there’s strange fictional food like “marmite” and “yorkshire pudding” and “baked beans” that no one would ever actually eat. baked beans. honestly.
  • everyone drinks tea all the time. no one could actually drink tea all the time
  • people don’t jump queues and don’t behave like fucking idiots when they have to wait for something. that’s just unrealistic.
  • it rains every day, that’s clearly an attempt to make it sound spooky and athmospheric. how cheap is that.
  • there’s weird money that’s useless everywhere else.
  • they have a queen apparently. haha. come on. monarchs are not real.
  • people there have strange names like Seamus and Alistair and Benedict Cumberbatch
  • the prime minister fucked a pig
  • what the fuck is scotland. kilts, castles, magic school, monster in a lake, someone made that up and i want whatever that person smoked because i’m sure it’s good
  • england is definitely not real. have you ever been there? no? checkmate.