autism

Questions I already know the answer to

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I have seen this Roger Ebert quote being passed around Twitter in the past few days, making fun of people.

Extreme fandom may serve as a security blanket for the socially inept, who use its extreme structure as a substitute for social skills. If you are Luke Skywalker and she is Princess Leia, you already know what to say to each other, which is so much safer than having to ad-lib it. Your fannish obsession is your beard. If you know absolutely all the trivia about your cubbyhole of pop culture, it saves you from having to know anything about anything else. That’s why it’s excruciatingly boring to talk to such people: They’re always asking you questions they know the answer to.

And it drives me mad because he’s describing autism! What he is condemning is the thing that I, painfully obviously, am! I have read reactions to this quote on Twitter and Reddit and while some people are not impressed, plenty more commented things along the lines of “Yeah, you tell those autists.” (God, I hate that word.) I watched a documentary today about autism that touched on obsessive behaviour and special interests so I suppose it’s on my mind. Why does everyone mock instead of help people with bad social skills? Why don’t they accept it when they find something (in some cases, fandom) that does help?

If you are Luke Skywalker and she is Princess Leia, then you have found a sibling. What’s wrong with that?

Children’s things

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Tumblr seems to have picked up a thing recently where it really loathes adults who watch/read children’s media. This then seemed to turn into hatred for autistics. (A lot of stuff does.) We tend to prefer simplistic media I feel.

I tie myself in knots every day wondering if I’m really autistic or if I’m just stupid. I actually googled “Why do autistic people love children’s media” and the general consensus seems to be that it’s “safe” and generally makes a world that isn’t accessible feel more accessible. I don’t pretend to know the ins and outs of it. Apparently autistic people are better at reading emotions in cartoons? Makes sense I guess.

I saw a post today of someone railing against, paraphrased, “people who have a rare and incurable disorder where they can’t understand human suffering unless it’s spoonfed to them through fiction.” Could’ve come right out of Autism Speaks, that one. We used to call “disorders” of all kinds “special needs.” I think my recent almost-diagnosis made me almost-officially Special Needs, which is a playground insult.

I love fiction. I think it’s important. I can’t concentrate on it anymore thanks to ADHD, I’ve lost countless worlds, but I love what I remember. I believe feeling compassion for stand-ins of real people helps you understand how to act around actual real people. (I don’t know how to act around actual real people, regardless of what I might feel.) Otherwise what’s the point?

I feel weird and sad about all this because once I hit 35, and once it became obvious I was not going to have children, I turned into the sad, fat, autistic, ADHD Fandom Adult with no prospects. I think I am more obviously Wrong now than when I was a teenager, which is really saying something. (I guess because I have more to lose.) But I would never, ever judge anyone for processing this world through their favourite shows or movies or games, same as I wouldn’t judge anyone for not being able to process simple words and concepts.

I’m autistic. I’m cringe. I have a disorder. I would’ve made such a better parent than those people.

An autism thing, or maybe not an autism thing

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I don’t understand why people ask questions they don’t want to know the answers to. This happens all the time on social media! People will pose what is very obviously a question, often with the question mark right there and everything, and then become furious when people offer answers. Maybe it’s always a joke they’re making? But how could anyone possibly tell?!

Assorted reliable Maybe You Have Autism tests suggest that “not understanding social rules” is a sign that indeed you are on the spectrum. But that one particular thing I do not get!! Am I the one following the social rule when it comes to questions and everyone else is ignoring it?!?!

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bpdzoldyck:

neuroatypicalprincess:

If you say things like “autistic people are never successful” and you are also a Pokemon fan then you should probably sit down while I tell you the news about the creator of your beloved game series. Yeah, Satoshi Tajiri, creator of Pokemon and founder of gamefreak? Autistic

Also before anyone tries to play the “he’s so successful despite his autism” card I feel it’s important to point out much of the content in Pokemon was inspired by his special interest in bug collecting. Pokemon would not exist without him and the fact that he’s autistic.

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discouroborose:

leproblematique:

theroguefeminist:

delistylehardcore:

it rly is weird how theres this culture in progressive spaces where like you can be as mean, as CRUEL even, as you want as long as youre not being explicitly bigoted towards any marginalized group of people and still be seen as a really good person with good morals who nobody is allowed to have beef with bc theyve never done anything racist or homophobic

this culture enables actual abuse. ive seen progressives engage in gaslighting, guilt-tripping, stalking, harassment, witch hunts, death threats, rape threats, and suicide baiting. these abusers are protected by the idea that marginalized people cannot be abusive and that any criticism of the behavior is  “problematic” or tone-policing. the behavior likely emerged as a reaction to tone-policing, respectability politics and moderate liberalism, swinging the pendulum to the opposite extreme of aggressive callout culture and groupthink. i also think many progressives are marginalized + disempowered in mainstream society and cope by replicating the same patterns of abuse in a microcosm where they have clout

Addendum: you can also be horribly bigoted toward other marginalized people, so long as you use the ‘correct’ language and attack a marginalized group that is already a popular target of lateral / intra-community aggression (or, as I like to call it ‘I’m too chickenshit to do anything that requires effort or sacrifice, so my activism is screaming at other marginalized people and blaming them for all my issues’).

This is very visible on Tumblr, with a rotating cadre of people (bisexuals, pansexuals, ace/aro people, nonbinary people, intersex people, trans people who don’t subscribe to transmedicalist stances) being the revolving Targets du Jour for some truly vicious hate and smear campaigns, by individuals *who should know better* (but don’t, because they enjoy the thrill of soft, easily reachable targets upon which to vent the rage caused by non-marginalized society). Fundamentally, this is what happens when one’s activism revolves around seeking VENGEANCE (and a completely misplaced one at that!) rather than justice.

Good post but I wanna add another example: people are literally allowed and even encouraged to be as mean-spirited and cruel towards people who exhibit autistic traits, so long as they never actually use the word “autistic.”

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russian-hackers-official:

In middle school I was “friends” with a really shy, passive girl. Her odd speech patterns, logic leaps and complete inability to act her age infuriated me for some reason, so I constantly picked on her. A few years later I realized that she’s probably autistic and was overwhelmed with guilt. A few more years later I realized that even if she isn’t autistic and is just Like That, that was still a horrible way to treat another person – I got my priorities all wrong. Y’all are exactly like that, except not 14 years old.

elle woods is autistic

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ayellowbirds:

thequeerwithoutfear:

  • singleminded and incredibly dedicated to whatever it is she’s focused on at the time (gets into and then goes to law school to get back warner, even though it breaks with everything she’s done in her life up until that point)
  • incredibly knowledgeable about her chosen point of interest (”it’s impossible to use half-loop top stitching on low-viscosity rayon”)
  • has a dog who’s permitted to live with her on campus and go to court with her, and who completes daily-living tasks like fetching mail (i’m calling it: bruiser’s a service dog)
  • relies on routine and an established set of coping mechanisms (manicures; tries to schedule social events to maintain some sort of consistency) 
  • struggles with social cues (for instance, the way she delivers her introduction when she first arrives at school, the way she interacts with warner)
  • is incredibly smart (got a 179 on the LSATs) but struggles in school — has difficulty keeping track of her assignments (first day in stromwell’s class), has difficulty answering questions on the spot in class (”do they always do that? put you on the spot like that?”)
  • struggles with codeswitching in different environments (with her friends in LA, in the classroom, with the other harvard students, in court, etc)
    • when she does try to institute a change like this, she does it overly dramatically; she over-plays it — see: the outfit she wears for her first day of classes 
    • that line also — ”i totally look the part!” — that idea that what she wears, says, and does are largely performative (maybe also she’s trying to pass?)
    • uses overly formal or informal language; language inappropriate to the context (”and i am fully amenable to that discussion” when warner is breaking up with her; the ‘valley girl’ language she uses at harvard)
  • has difficulty identifying sarcasm and mocking (the costume party)
  • is set up in the narrative as out of place in her social environment 
  • the narrative about elle ultimately winning the case because she uses her existing skills, knowledge base, and passion rather than What She Learned In Law School ™ is also, like, a really strong neurodiversity narrative   
  • i love her and i only care about autistic characters, so she must be autistic

she’d be a textbook example of the sort of woman who falls through the cracks in diagnosing autism, if the textbooks didn’t fail so egregiously in regards to diagnosing women.