monsterfactoryfanfic:

monsterfactoryfanfic:

The thing about wanting to write smart essays is you truly do have to read books to do that, and the thing about reading books is that it is way harder now that I am not 17 and smartphoneless

Genuinely humiliating to read in 25 minute chunks because a decade of having a feelgood device in my pocket has turned my brain to cheese

chasetriesagain:

inactiveaccount082024:

lezbianz:

this is for a part-time job as a barista

on an application to work the front desk of a hotel

If minimum wage you’d like to make,
This ancient quiz you’ll have to take.

Step right up, but be prepared.
Those who fail are poverty-snared.

Question One!

If your labor proves most fruitful,
Raking quarters by the bootful,
Who should excess profits reap,
Me the wolf or you the sheep?

Question Two!

If, by merit, you’re made pope,
What will be your fervent hope?
Law and order justly paired?
Or mercy and the guilty spared?

Question Three!

If a train should leave Topeka
Driven by a solar squeaker,
How then should the cat behave?
Give it milk or give it grave?

Question Four!

Do you have a criminal record?

amvs:

can’t use the internet without adblock because it’s so crowded that it’s unusable can’t read important breaking news without a subscription can’t get a streaming service without them eventually adding commercials can’t watch youtube videos without 30 ads can’t search up things on google without seeing a shit ton of sponsored results can’t answer unknown numbers because everything is a scam call can’t use essential app features without a 30 dollar subscription per month can’t watch a music video without product placement. is anyone else tired