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Early 2000′s Internet Fandom Gothic

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roachpatrol:

saeto15:

actuallyclintbarton:

shithowdy:

  • Someone has been leaving increasingly bizarre messages on your guestbook.
  • You get a favorite on one of your drawings featuring a character’s death. You go to thank them, but have second thoughts when you see their page consists only of a bloated gallery of faves that are all about that one character dying.
  • Just who else is a sock puppet of that BNF?
  • Your favorite fansite still hasn’t come back from hiatus. Rumors swirl on the forums of a different site that the webmistress died, the broken banner on her splash page her online epitaph.
  • You swear you’ve read this songfic set to My Immortal before, but it’s the most recent submission. You couldn’t have. 
  • Your computer doesn’t support Japanese characters but that doesn’t stop you from trying to navigate your fandom’s doujin circles. You somehow stumble onto a page dedicated to lovingly-rendered anatomical dissections of every character.
  • Your favorite fanfiction is getting progressively weirder and more incoherent with every update. You hope the author is okay.
  • You get the feeling you shared this positive fanart of a female character with the wrong crowd.
  • There’s a new batch of icons posted on one of your LJ communities! None of them are loading. Everybody else is commenting on them; why are you the only one who can’t see them?
  • You make a new friend on a forum, and you exchange AIM handles. After a few days of chatting, she begins to tell you about her experiences in something called “the Astral Plane”.
  • This video is taking an eternity to buffer. 
  • DxHxR citrus, PWP, H/C, NC, CBT, WS, M/M, M/M/M, WAFF ^_^ WIP please R&R!!!
  • As you finally turn out the light and close your eyes to go to sleep, you swear you can hear it coming from outside: the dial-up noise.

I think the best part about this is it’s not even really meme-ified, this was LITERALLY what fandom was like.

That’s exactly what I was going to say. People who didn’t experience this probably think it sounds bizarre. No, that’s basically what it was like. Early internet fandom was a strange place.

i think like two thirds of the things on this list happened to me in middle school. 

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mhd-hbd:

open-sketchbook:

the-loquacious-lark:

veggieneko:

WTF? “Home Alone” is 25 this year????

I’M SO OOOOOLD!

this is an excellent time to talk about my home alone sequel idea

its 25 years later. a group of men track kevin down to an american-style suburban house deep in the jungles of cambodia. they stagger into his office, bruised and covered in feathers.

“you’re a hard man to find mccalister”

“not hard enough”

jump cut. a military officer is talking to a cia spook.

“you don’t understand. he’s the best. i saw him take apart a taliban kill team with nothing but the contents of a hardware store and a box of toy cars.”

cut to afgan desert. adult kevin in modern military gear presses a detonator. several cuts show a rube goldburg device launching paint cans into startled assassins via planks of wood.

cut back to dark office.

“he’s dangerous. unstable.” the spook says

intercut of a man trying to sneak up on maccalister when he steps on a rollar skate and falls down some stairs. there’s punji stakes at the bottom.

“that’s why he’s the best.”

lights cigar

cut back to officer talking to kevin

“your country needs you.”

“i needed my country, and it wasn’t there for me. why should i be there for her?”

cut to shady military black ops in the jungle, vietnam war style. kevin, in tiger strip special
forces camo, watches a helicopter take off and fly away. cut to inside.
the team, weary, sits in dejected silence, when one of them suddenly
bolts upright.

“MACCALISTER!”

cut back

“we need you for one last job. we’ve assembled an elite team.”

zoom on kevin’s face

“no. i work… alone.”

HOME ALONE 3

cut to man strapped to chair in dark room. kevin is in the background, fetching something. he circles around him, rubbing his hands together.

“you’re going to tell me what i want to know.”

“fuck you.” the man spits.

kevin claps his hands to either side of the man’s face. He screams.

COMING THIS CHRISTMAS

kevin watches a city burn. a man points a gun at the back of his head.

“no fancy traps to protect you here. what you got to say to that, maccalister?”

kevin whirls, disarms him, and kicks him off a balcony.

“merry christmas, ya filthy animal.”

RATED R

this is the best thing I’ve seen all week

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natalunasans:

marauders4evr:

So, I’m reading Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy for the first time and I’ve stumbled upon this description of one of the characters:

“She was slim, darkish, humanoid, with long waves of black hair, a full mouth, an odd little knob of a nose and ridiculously brown eyes. With her red head scarf knotted in that particular way and her long flowing silky brown dress, she looked vaguely Arabic.”

Holy diversity Batman!

And in a series that came out in the ‘70s!

I need to see photos of this character!

Wait…

Did I miss something?

I feel like I missed something.

that superdisappointed me too

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