When a poster doesn’t even need the film title for everyone to know which film it is….
harry potter
Do you think Ginny came up with her Valentine’s Day poem on her own?
Or do you think she had help?
Like
Say from
I don’t know
A magical diary or something
That she always confided in
And would probably do whatever she asked
Like help her write a poem
OKAY BUT –
“I wish he were mine, he’s really divine – the hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
Only Death Eaters called Voldemort the Dark Lord.
Ginny did NOT write that.
VOLDEMORT WROTE HARRY POTTER A LOVE POEM: CONFIRMED.
Okay, I just realized Voldemort didn’t just plan to kill Harry in Book 4
In all other cases except the Triwizard cup, portkeys only go one way at one specific time. Touching them again does not activate them to return to their place of origin. Also, when Harry grabs the cup a second time, it does not return him to the middle of the maze. It takes him to the entrance of the maze, in front of everyone.
Therefore, when Crouch Jr. (as Moody) bewitched the cup, he planned to have it take anyone who touched it first to the graveyard, then to the front of the maze.The cup was probably supposed to be a portkey to take the winner to the front of the maze anyway, so they wouldn’t have to try to fight their way out again.
Voldemort obviously planned to kill Harry. He had to. That was the whole point; to kill Harry in front of all his Death Eaters, all the ones who had deserted him and doubted his power to return.
There’s the possibility that he wanted to send Harry’s body back, either to divert suspicion somehow or to intentionally flout his victory in Dumbledore’s face. Except Voldemort had promised his precious Nagini several times she could eat Harry, and it seemed like a promise Voldemort was going to keep.
So who was meant to take that return trip?
Voldemort could use it as a ticket into Hogwarts for a surprise attack, but he’s freshly reborn, his Death Eaters are 13 years out of practice, and there’s a flock of powerful wizards there for the Triwizard. That would be an idiotic move.
Or what if Harry—or someone who looked like him—had returned to Hogwarts as if nothing had happened in that maze? As the victor of the Triwizard Tournament AND the Boy Who Lived, Harry would be able to go anywhere and do anything. Everyone trusts him.
Two words: POLYJUICE POTION.
There was one Death Eater already waiting at Hogwarts who had very carefully been spending a whole year getting to know Harry, watching his every movement: Barty Crouch Jr.
So here was Voldemort’s complete plan: Use Barty Crouch Jr. to infiltrate Hogwarts as Moody. He gets to know Harry and sets him up to be selected for and eventually to win the Triwizard Tournament. He makes sure Harry touches the cup first. Harry is then transported to the graveyard where Voldemort is waiting. Voldemort uses Harry to rise, calls his Death Eaters to him, and then humiliates and kills the Boy Who Lived in front of them.
Then Voldemort strips Harry’s body, takes his hair, and transforms into him (or else has one of his DE’s do this—but really, who would he pick? Lucius is an idiot, Bellatrix is still in jail, and he believes Snape has deserted him). He then takes the cup and goes to Hogwarts as Harry. Later that night, Moody disappears, and Crouch takes Voldemort’s place as Harry Potter. Then, when the moment is right, Voldemort-Harry or Crouch-Harry will assassinate Dumbledore (incidentally gaining the power of the Elder Wand, though he wouldn’t know it), stage a coup of Hogwarts, and take over the wizarding world.
Heck, he/they might not even drop their disguise as Harry. The wizarding world has faced Voldemort as an enemy before, but if their savior Harry Potter suddenly turned out to be just as powerful a Dark Lord as He Who Must Not Be Named? It would be a far scarier prospect than simply dealing with Voldemort’s return.
It solves the problem of why Voldemort went to such lengths to get Harry through the Triwizard, when there were far easier ways to capture him: Voldemort didn’t just need Harry’s blood; he needed Harry as the world’s hero.
And all that time in Hogwarts would give Voldemort time to search for a relic of Godric Gryffindor, the one founder he never made a horcrux from.
Of course, none of this could have worked because Voldemort could never in a million years fool Ron or Hermione or Dumbledore, not even for a minute. But there’s Voldemort’s greatest weakness again—he doesn’t understand love.
You’re welcome.
Random Harry Potter Headcanons:
- Thanks to Hagrid’s loud and carrying voice, by the time Harry woke up in Gryffindor tower after the Battle of Hogwarts, the entirety of the castle heard how he had been hit dead on with a killing curse, been “Crucio’ed” after ‘death’ and still fooled Voldemort. By the time he made it down to the Great Hall, the story had spread to most of the wizarding world of Scotland and England. Harry now has a reputation for immortality.
- Harry almost had his entire Gringotts’ Vault emptied when the Goblins wanted him penalized for robbing the bank and stealing a dragon. Kingsley and the Ministry were only able to prevent it when they threatened to bring Gringotts up on charges of animal cruelty and abuse. Charlie Weasley was very vocal from then on out of the proper treatment of dragons
- Whenever Harry, Ron, or Hermione enter Gringotts, they are trailed by at least a dozen suspicious and watchful goblins.
- The Malfoys never replaced the chandelier Dobby broke. They tried once, but Draco couldn’t look at it without fearing it would drop on him next.
- The part of the forest where Harry dropped the Resurrection Stone was never retaken by the giant spiders. None of the animals in the forest dared to enter the clearing and anyone who came across it never stayed long. They felt as if Death was only a few steps ahead of them. After several decades, a legend popped up that claimed the clearing held the door that led to the afterlife. Ghosts would flock to the clearing and prowl its perimeter, not daring to take the risk and cross over.
- James, Lily, and Albus’ bedtime stories were fairy tales based on Harry’s years at Hogwarts.
Friendly reminder that this creepy moment existed.
#she was laughing at her husband and son#people who she loved dearly enough to give up her life#and snape took that and cut them out of it so he could pretend she was laughing for him#her love in the letter was for sirius who was best man at her wedding and her good friend who fought at her side in the order#and snape took that so he could pretend her love was for him#snape is fucking trash and this is not romantic at all
this this this this this omg this si so disgusting this guy is a creep who feels entitled to Lily’s love even though he’s done nothing to deserve it
- childhood friend who you love dies
- you are barely 21
- misses her, so you take a picture of her, cutting out the man who sexually assaulted you and bullied you for 7 years
- spends the rest of adult life protecting son of childhood friend
- never kills muggles or muggleborns
- dies protecting son
- tumblr labels you a creep
- childhood friend who stopped being your friend because you called her a racial slur while she was defending you against said bullies, is murdered in her own home by the homicidal maniac you pledged your loyalty to, and she was chosen as a target specifically because of information you provided
- your age is irrelevant unless your own bullies are also excused for their nasty shit given they’re the same age at that point
- you missing her does not entitle you to mutilate photos of her with her family or letters to her friends so that they better suit your taste, especially since her orphaned son would have wanted that photo and letter whole and undamaged. You could have gotten copies of the relevant page of the letter and relevant half of the photo and left the originals intact, but no, you didn’t want anyone who wasn’t you to have it, now did you?
- spends adult life resenting the ever living hell out of being expected to protect the son you helped to make a target of aformentioned homicidal maniac in the first place, and takes that resentment out on said son by bullying him and trying to get him expelled (yeah what a protective idea – get the kid’s wand snapped, that’ll help keep him safe!)
- bullies a muggleborn student for daring to be good at his class and also bullies another child that was left without parents because of other Death Eaters
- holds onto hatred of child you helped to orphan until your literal last moments on Earth
- your creator confirmed that if your homicidal maniac boss had chosen a different infant and parents to butcher, you’d still be loyally serving him with no moral qualms whatsoever
- a disturbingly large portion of the fandom blames everything you’ve ever done wrong on a) the kids who bullied you in high school, b) your boss who kept you out of prison (despite your personal admission to his face that you set a family up to be killed) and gave you a position of mentoring over one quarter of the student body, c) the childhood friend you lost for daring to give up on you at all, d) the kid you orphaned (and his friends) for doing things like reminding you of the parents he never got to know and other clearly unforgivable shit like that, e) your parents (of whom very little is currently known), and f) basically anyone that isn’t you.
Snape wasn’t Voldemort the second, but he sure as hell was no misunderstood martyr.
“the man who sexually assaulted you”? I have not heard this one before. Where in the books is James supposed to have sexually assaulted Snape? What?
The only thing I can think of is the fact that Snape’s undies were (supposedly) exposed in Snape’s Worst Memory which I guess would be considered sexual assault, but um. Yeah that really could have just been “assaulted.”
Geez. I’m gonna go and say that calling that sexual assault is an affront to every victim of actual sexual assault. :p It’s got to be it, though, you have to be right. There’s nothing else that this could be referencing.
Yeah like. I’m not saying it wasn’t a crappy thing for James to do but on the sex crime continuum, it doesn’t register, given the context (or lack thereof).
Agreed that Severus very much has his issues, but I really hate the fandom mentality of either James is perfect, or Severus is perfect. They both did some pretty Godawful things. At the end of the day, I respect Lily’s choice of James and rejection of Severus and the path he was taking, though I also respect Severus’ right to refuse to forgive James (even if I don’t agree at all with how he took it out on others).
But they’re potentially on point with the sexual assault comment. James says, and I quote from ch 28 of OotP, “Who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?”
Forcibly stripping someone you’ve made helpless of any item of clothing with intent to intimidate or humiliate them with the shame of nudity certainly pings on the sexual assault spectrum.
American vs British English also makes a difference. Pants to an American would mean taking off Snape’s trousers, jeans, etc. Which is bad enough, but also it’s made clear that Snape is only wearing underwear beneath his robes with “skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants.” (This being book version, where it seems implied wizarding robes are an all-in-one garment rather than the open version seen in the movies).
And pants, to a Briton and very clearly in this case, is underwear. James is yelling about publicly and forcibly taking off Severus’ underpants. So if James did indeed do it, I’m gonna agree with the sexual assault comment here.
do you ever think about how unfair life at Hogwarts was for 1st year Slytherins.
small, defenseless, terrified children who are coming into Hogwarts for the first time, surrounded by people they don’t know and magic they’ve never seen, undergoing a Sorting they’ve only heard rumors about. They’re booed when the Hat (there’s a hat??? there’s a voice in their heads??) calls out “Slytherin!” and even before then, hear the rumors about the House that spawns dark wizards and evil magic. on the train they hear people chattering about the goodness, the bravery of gryffindors, the intelligence of ravenclaws, the kindness of hufflepuffs. they hear about the wickedness and the hateful ambition of slytherins (as if ambition were a thing to be feared, that ambition was something wicked and wrong)
for the first months, they’re surrounded by hostility – upperclassmen wearing scarlet, navy, yellow shooting them dirty looks and intimidating them with size and petty pranks. any attempts to reach out and befriend their peers is met with distrust and falsehood. at every turn, they are met with side glances and whispers.
even teachers side against them. they are blamed for instigating fights (they were only trying to protect themselves!) and where another student would have been reprimanded for forgetting assignments, they are sent to detention. teachers like hagrid, who, though kindhearted and good, still wholeheartedly believe that a house is capable of spawning nothing but evil.
do you ever think about how unfair it is to 1st year slytherins, who are blamed and hated for who they are? that the idea of a teacher favoring them is met with outrage, when other teachers consistently are biased against them? they are rebuffed when they try to befriend others, and they are blamed when they seek comfort amongst their housemates.
is it any wonder that slytherins leave hogwarts with a “fuck you” attitude and no respect for the notion of house unity?
The Best April Fools’ Prank (That I Shall Ever Do)
Once upon a time, I decided that it was my solemn obligation to prank my friends before we graduated.
So…I made Hogwarts Acceptance letters. A lot of them. Because who isn’t still waiting for their freaking letter to arrive?
My hand hated me so much. Also, cursive G is the worst.
Letters were posted. All was well.
Until this happened…
What the-?
This is literally the best thing I have ever seen in my entire life.
excessively-spooky-courfeyrac:
Whatever you do, don’t think about the new Muggleborn 1st years wondering why so many of the ghosts are teenagers in modern day clothing and why so many people like to pet the air and they wonder if that’s some kind of magic custom or something and not realizing that they are all petting the thestrals
harry potter books as clickbait articles
- Crazy But True… This Man Will Do ANYTHING To Live Forever!
- You Won’t Believe This Bathroom’s Incredible Secret
- How Did One Man Escape Azkaban? The Answer Will Blow Your Mind
- Uh-Oh! Here’s One Enchanted Goblet Mixup You CAN’T Miss
- These Kids’ Reactions To Their New Teacher’s Rules Is Inspiring
- Is It Cheating? One Student’s Trick To Acing Potions Class
- 7 Objects You Didn’t Know Contained Pieces Of The Dark Lord’s Soul