Spider-Man: Far From Home (massive, massive spoilers ahead)

Eeeeey! I saw Far From Home at last before anyone spoiled me for it TOO much!

So, the spoilers! Goddamn that trailer and the marketing for this movie. Because I was ABSOLUTELY taken in. I really thought Mysterio would be from another Earth and this movie would bring in the Multiverse concept and all sorts and it was all fake! Of COURSE it was! Ah, I feel like a wee bit of an idiot because duh, Mysterio is the master of illusions.

I literally cannot believe what a damn good villain he is. If you had told me that a few years ago I’d have been laughing. But bloody hell, this 21st-century version of Mysterio is like, probably the best take they concieveably could have done.

They even made the fish-bowl-head look good! What.

Anyway! I liked a huge amount of this movie. I love Zendaya as MJ. This movie portrays her as a girl covering up her hurt with a mask and that’s the MJ we know, even though the mask this time is sarcasm and weirdness instead of bubbliness. She was great, even though I assume we’re still meant to assume she’s Michelle and not the “real” MJ, sigh. Maybe that’s quietly been retconned behind the scenes? I hope so.

The things I didn’t like I really didn’t like, though:

It baffles me that these movies don’t mention Uncle Ben and the incident that catapulted Peter into superherodom. I know they don’t want to do the origin story again but not a mention that Peter got his uncle killed, nothing? (There is one tiny Uncle Ben easter egg, Peter’s suitcase is marked with his initals, but that’s it.) This article sums it all pretty neatly, I think, and my god it annoys me. Really, really annoys me. Yeah, Tony Stark made Peter an Avenger but it was May and Ben who made him Peter, and just… nothing. Nothing about that whatsoever.

The scene where Peter is made to take his clothes off is very uncomfortable indeed and not funny. I feel like this film has a really weird child-grooming subtext if you squint.

Tony getting all the memorials and Natasha getting none, even though she made the exact same sacrifice Tony did, ugh that still infuriates me.

As one of the few remaining RaimiSpidey fans I was frickin’ delighted to see JK Simmons pop up. I screamed out loud more or less! No-one else could play Jameson, ever, and there he was!

This delight came to an adrupt end when I learned this version of JJJ is supposed to be a Alex Jones expy. Alex Jones is a monster. JJJ, for all his faults, is not. I don’t want to watch a character I previously considered great comic relief do the MCU equivalant of psychologically torturing the parents of dead children.