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sevi007:

seniorinternaut:

He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn’t your daddy.

Okay, okay, just let me explain to you what I just realized that fucks me up even more in this scene – it’s Yondu’s expression and what the tale it tells.

Because guess what?

Yondu doesn’t want to die.

Well, duh, someone might say, because usually nobody really wants to die, especially not a cruel death like suffocating or freezing as Yondu does. But it’s not that what I mean.

I mean that Yondu, who has lost everything – his ship, his crew and friends, his “family” whom he disappointed – he would have all the reason to say “I’m gonna die now, I have nothing left to live for anyway” and just accept his death, probably even feel somewhat relieved.

There is no guilt in death, no longing for what he has lost. It could be seen as a relief.

But look at Yondu. He is close to crying and that’s not something we have ever seen from him. He doesn’t want to die, he hasn’t given up on life – and honestly, that makes sense, because Yondu has been through quite a lot of shit and he’s always moved on – he doesn’t have a death wish.

He wants to live and continue on, perhaps because that’s all he has ever done, perhaps because he actually knows that he has people left who are worth living for (Peter, Kraglin, Rocket) or perhaps because he realizes that he doesn’t have enough time left now to say what he wanted to say but never did.

For whatever reason, Yondu wants to live.

And despite that, he sacrifices his own life so he can save Peter.

That makes his sacrifice so much more powerful, and the relief and pride and love on his expression when he looks at Peter even more prominent and important. One second, Yondu is breaking and wavering, close to tears, because he is gonna die and he knows it.

But when he looks at Peter, realizes He will live, I will die so that my boy can live and that is okay in his eyes.

Because Peter is worth it to him.

Yondu doesn’t throw away his life that he doesn’t want anymore – he sacrifices his life despite wanting to live so he can save someone he loves.

 

This scene fucks me up even more now.

;-;

But this ties into probably one of my favourite Yondu conversations on this site, which is the idea that exile from the Ravagers = exile from the Ravager afterlife as well. (”You’ll never hear the horns of freedom when you die…”) So he doesn’t want to die because he knows that’s it, he screwed up too much to get into the version of heaven he believes in, so there’s not an awful lot of options for after his death, which is frightening and unpleasant enough on its own-

– but, like you said, Peter’s still worth it to him.