(no subject)
I have a real diary, you know- I’ve had it since about 1999. That one is about my life (and the occasional fangirl moment) and this one is pretty much purely for fandom, and because in general I love the LiveJournal community and want to be part of it.
But…I don’t know. Real life occasionally slips into this journal, because there’s just no way it couldn’t- and I’m always so worried that people will find out what I’m really like and hate me for it. I know I’m not alone in that, but you know…even though it’s your own journal, it’s all people see of you and that’s how they’ll judge you. If I make some stupid mistake on LiveJournal I won’t really be able to change it, will I? Or I don’t think so.
Today my dad lost his job.
I feel pretty stupid whining about it, because I’m sitting here typing this on a reasonably good laptop, listening to the digital radio and wearing a t-shirt I got from my Paris holiday. I have no right whatsoever to complain. But my dad getting that job- it was a very good job- was one of the few lucky things that ever happened to us. And now it’s gone. Here’s the stuff I save for my real life journal: my mother has MS- she’s in a wheelchair and is tired a lot and she’d hate it if she knew I was telling you this. That’s why my dad can’t get another job- he has to look after her almost all the time. His now ex-boss allowed him to work from home, and because the office was just across town it wasn’t really a problem. There’s a one in a million chance of him getting another job exactly like that.
One of my younger brothers has Asperger’s syndrome, and the bastards in his class like to pick on him. He told me today that the kids in his German class were pushing him off his chair, treating him like a dog and taking pictures of it on their mobiles. I hate it. It makes me so fucking livid.
…
There we go- I just went over to FictionAlley for a minute, to see the GOF discussion, because people were in the room- and now I feel better.
I still have my own job, still am doing A-levels, still taking driving lessons, still have friends. I still have a future- I always had one- I’m just scared of screwing it up.
…I dunno if I should cut this. I will if anyone asks me.
November 21, 2005 @ 5:42 pm
oh dear, I’m sorry to hear about your dad! And yikes, MS. meh. I’m sorry to hear that. Your dad might find another job he can do from home though, I don’t think it’s too uncommon for employers to allow that. I wish him luck, and by the way, don’t feel stupid. *hugs*
November 22, 2005 @ 6:15 pm
Yeah- he’s looking around the careers offices and stuff. Maybe… *hugs back*
November 21, 2005 @ 5:50 pm
I’m not sure stupid “*hugs*” is really fitting for this, I wish I could give you a real-life-person hug. You’re not going to screw anything up, you’re like, seriously, the sweetest person ever, no one is going to want to be judging you. I’ll keep your family situation in my prayers, for what it’s worth. My aunt has MS, I’ve seen how hard it can be.
November 22, 2005 @ 6:18 pm
Thanks, Jess. *hugs back*
November 21, 2005 @ 7:14 pm
Oh hon. *hugs you tight* Don’t cut this, it’s your journal and you are more than entitled to post whatever you want. We’re all here to support you as and when you need us, alright?
November 22, 2005 @ 6:27 pm
*hugs back* Thanks. I’ll leave it uncut. :)
November 21, 2005 @ 7:42 pm
I’m so sorry to hear this! You and your whole family are in my thoughts. Please take care and know that good wishes are coming your way.
November 22, 2005 @ 6:30 pm
Thank you. :) *hugs*
November 21, 2005 @ 7:50 pm
I am so sorry to hear about that! : (( I know you don’t want pity or anything buy your family are in my thoughts! And treating your brother like that is just not on! Someone should do the same and see how they like it!
November 22, 2005 @ 6:37 pm
Believe me, I’ve considered many, many times about what to do to them… ;) Thanks, anyway. :D
November 21, 2005 @ 9:47 pm
*hugs* I just wish I could help you and your family more. RL situations are so hard sometimes, but we’re all thinking of you. *hugs again*
November 22, 2005 @ 6:37 pm
*hugs back* Thanks. :D
November 21, 2005 @ 10:34 pm
I’m sorry to hear this *hugs* Don’t feel bad about though, it’s good to get it all out in any form. We all do it, heck knows I”ve done it. *hugs again* You’;ll be fine.
November 22, 2005 @ 6:59 pm
*hugs back* Thanks.
November 22, 2005 @ 2:10 am
I just wanted to say that I understand entirely too well how you feel. I feel sort of silly commenting on this since you don’t actually know me, but I just felt I should say that. I’m actually fairly new to livejournal. Anyway, in case you’re wondering, I used to visit your Pokémon/Digimon websites years ago and I just found your website again recently – that’s how I found this journal. Well, I hope everything goes okay for you!
November 22, 2005 @ 7:07 pm
Hey, people still remember those sites! :D Thanks, anyway. :D (And welcome to LiveJournal ;) )
November 23, 2005 @ 10:22 am
::hugs:: You just hang in there.
November 23, 2005 @ 5:11 pm
*hugs back*