For a brief stretch in London, I talked only to a phrenology bust I kept in my study. I named him Angus. Wasn’t the same.
sherlock holmes
WELL this has been in the works (even as kinda only an idea) for roughly i don’t know THREE YEARS? So I promised myself I’d post it tonight.
Title: Sherlock Holmes and the Judge of Souls
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes/Les Miserables
Rating: PG13 probably (there’s nothing worse here than in either book)
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Grantaire, Grantaire’s sister, Enjolras
Summary:
At the turn of the nineteenth century, Holmes and Watson are called to
France to investigate the case of a man who died in the 1832 riots.
Read it on AO3, or
Ok
this is a mess and probably not a good likeness of either,BUT hear me out: Book accurate Sherlock with Dev Patel as Holmes and Riz Ahmed as Watson? Please?? I’ve convinced myself that I need this. Patel’s Sherlock would 10/10 shake a baby’s hand (among other actual canon Holmes shenanigans). Besides, Riz already has that long-suffering “what have you done now, Holmes” look.Partially inspired by this photo post of the boyz at the Oscars.
one thing that’s always bothered me about most people’s depiction of Holmes’s usage of cocaine is that most people in Victorian England were only just beginning to realize how badly it affected people???
like tbh I feel like a better modern equivalent would just be Holmes dumping a five hour energy into his fifth cup of coffee while Watson, a trained medical professional, stares at him in horror
I’ve always thought this
This post is my new favorite
This is actually really on point, though. Cocaine, in the time that Conan Doyle was writing, wasn’t viewed as like the scourge of the earth the way it is today. It was actually originally heralded as a harmless pharmaceutical substance that could help cure (or at least alleviate) everything from the common cold to alcoholism. It was in throat lozenges and nasal sprays and used as a local anesthetic. People had literally no idea how addictive or dangerous it was, and it was available from regular chemists. There wasn’t a stigma about it until the late 1910s and -20s when medical professionals started to realize how harmful it had the potential to be (mostly because they all got addicted themselves; in the first wave of cocaine addicts a huge fraction of them were dentists). So Sherlock Holmes having a coke habit wasn’t nearly as taboo as people often assume it is. From the earlier stories it’s actually pretty clear that Conan Doyle didn’t even know what cocaine actually did, because he describes it the first time or two as having the same sort of effects as opium or other ‘downers,’ which is pretty much the opposite of what cocaine–being a stimulant–actually does. Somewhere along the line he was either corrected or tried it himself and realized he was wrong, because his portrayal of it does become more accurate, but I think that still goes to show how casual the attitude about it was at the time. So Holmes liked coke. So what? It speaks to for his need for mental stimulation, but it doesn’t make him a rule-breaking bad boy. At the time a coke habit wasn’t much more dramatic than smoking cigars.
Looking for something Sherlock Holmes to pass your time while waiting for the new season of Sherlock? Take a trip back to the 80s when Watson wore a fez that one time, and Holmes used his trusty syringe and dismissed people’s intelligence with just as much sass as ever.
Jeremy Brett stars as Sherlock Holmes in The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, The Sign of Four, The Return of Sherlock Holmes, The Hound of the Baskervilles, The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, and The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes.
THE ADVENTURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES
Season 1
A Scandal in Bohemia (S01x01) Youtube
The Dancing Men (S01x02) Youtube
The Naval Treaty (S01x03) Youtube
The Solitary Cyclist (S01x04) Youtube
The Crooked Man (S01x05) Youtube
The Speckled Band (S01x06) Youtube
The Blue Carbuncle (S01x07) Youtube: |1|2|3|4|
Season 2
The Copper Beeches (S02x01) Youtube
The Greek Interpreter (S02x02) Youtube
The Norwood Builder (S02x03) Yotube
The Resident Patient (S02x04) Youtube
The Red Headed League (S02x05) Youtube
The Final Problem (S02x06) Youtube
THE RETURN OF SHERLOCK HOLMES
Season 1
The Empty House (S01x01) Youtube
The Abbey Grange (S01x02) Youtube
The Musgrave Ritual (S01x03) Youtube
The Second Stain (S01x04) Youtube
The Man With the Twisted Lip (S01x05) Youtube
The Priory School (S01x06) Youtube
The Six Napoleons (S01x07) Youtube
Season 2
The Devil’s Foot (S02x01) Youtube
Silver Blaze (S02x02) Youtube
Wisteria Lodge (S02x03) Youtube
The Bruce Partington Plans (S02x04) Youtube
THE CASE-BOOK OF SHERLOCK HOLMES
Season 1
The Disappearance of Lady Frances Carafax (S01x01) Youtube
The Problem of Thor Bridge (S01x02) Youtube
Shoscombe Old Place (S01x03) Youtube
The Boscombe Valley Mystery (S01x04) Youtube
The Illustrious Client (S01x05) Youtube
The Creeping Man (S01x06) Youtube
The Master Blackmailer (S01x07) Youtube
The Last Vampire (S01x08) Youtube
The Eligible Bachelor (S01x09) Youtube
THE MEMOIRS OF SHERLOCK HOLMES
Season 1
The Three Gables (S01x01) Youtube
The Case of the Dying Detective (S01x02) Youtube
The Golden Pince-Nez (S01x03) Youtube
The Red Circle (S01x04) Youtube
The Mazarin Stone (S01x05) Youtube
The Cardboard Box (S01x06) Youtube
FILMS
The Sign of Four (chronologically after Adventures series) Youtube
The Hound of the Baskervilles (chronologically after Return series) Youtube:|1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|
no.
you know what?
i’m not done.
lil history lesson for the beeblockers in the audience who weren’t around post-s2 and pre-s3 (or any hints about same): the mary hate didn’t start after HLV.
the mary hate didn’t start after TSoT.
the mary hate didn’t start after TEH, or after setlock, or after whatever the hell point you’ve seen ppl use to justify their And After That, Well, Of COURSE We Had To Speak Up About How ~Problematic~ This Character Was, I Mean, Anyone Who Could Enjoy This Fictional Human Clearly Lacks A Moral Center, Anyway Enough Unpleasantness Here’s A Rec Post Of My Favourite Holmescest Fics.
the mary hate started when yall heard the show would involve mary at all.
i know. i was there. people i used to consider friends posted hate, including that they wanted “THAT woman” to die ASAP, on the same day of the “hey there will be mary” announcement.
when ppl, including me, pointed out that uh all we knew about her character was that she was a woman, so hating her based on
- she is a woman
- getting her yucky vajayjay all over your media
was misogynist as yikes, we were dismissed as Fandom Police. we couldn’t MAKE people like her just because she was a woman!! in fact, that made us the REAL misogynists!!! like, GOD, how stupid could we be!!1!?
it went downhill from there.
pre-s3, if you were excited about mary, in public, you could pretty well count on at least one person chiming in with BUT THE STORY IS ABOUT JAWN AND SHELROCK HOW CAN MAKE ROOM FOR MARY TRICK QUESTION U CAN’T
MY OTPEVERYTHING IS RUINED. (i mean, imo, everything is ruined at the outset because the writers can’t pace or emotional thru-line their way out of a well-lit paper bag; mary “ruins” the story much as same-sex marriage “ruins” marriage in that opposite-sex couples, like the writers, do just fine ruining everything on their own.)BUT I DIGRESS.
post-s3, if you were still excited about mary, fandom was fucking unbearable. i didn’t have it anywhere near as bad as lots of others and it was still unbearable. i stopped being part of the fandom. i deleted and orphaned my jawnlock fics. sometime after the fucking thing that got its own fucking tag – and, more tear-out-what-was-left-of-my-hair-fully for me, after fandom could not collectively agree that a) there were sides and b) one of them was REALLY DEFINITELY WORSE THAN THE OTHER – i packed up the last of my shit and got the hell out of the sandbox.
so here, on Weekend Of Last Ep For A While Possibly Ever Eve, i tell you: each and every one of you who spat bile about mary, who thought fargolockgate was a tempest in a teapot and anyway seeing john beat mary to death with a hammer was kinda hilarious amirite, who clutched your pearls and whined about The Integrity Of The (Whitedude) Story, who concern trolled mary fans because omg surely no decent person could like her, who speculated for YEARS that mary was evil, mary was cheating on john, mary was only pretending to be pregnant, mary meant to kill not wound sherlock, john and sherlock were plotting to kill mary and become a couple, the showrunners made it all perfectly clear right there in the subtext, it would all come true and we “bitter has-beens” would be proven wrong and what a great and righteous day that would be –
– every last one of you can fuck right off. if you don’t like what the show gives you… if you don’t like what what’s left of the fandom can do to reinvent it… then i leave the last and, fittingly, frustration-mangled word to jiminy cricket:
“you buttered your bread… now sleep in it.”
Fandom history lesson.
Actually, if we’re doing fandom history –
(bear in mind I’m not really in Sherlock fandom, but I am more or less in ACD!Holmes fandom)
– Mary was hated before Sherlock existed. Remember the Robert Downey Jr Sherlock Holmes movies? They came out before the show did and were popular for a couple of years, it’s how I got into the books and the fandom. Anyway, Mary was in them and she was awesome. Smart, sympathetic, hidden depths of badassery, adored by Watson, respected by Holmes, was never an assassin or killed anyone or hurt a soul if that’s what you’re worried about –
People still loathed her. It was very discouraging.