GOBLIN WEEK IS BACK AGAIN: The famed Noise Warlock Ikriz Ironshunned, resplendent in her Sentient Demonskin Shitkicking Boots, blasts out a Power Shred to the crowd on her custom-built Skallidan, an Instrument of such unspeakable power that even a single note played can cause crops to wilt, seas to part, and your ears to grow little legs so they can run as far away from it as possible
GOBLIN WEEK: The Yorkshire Mumbler is a rarely seen Goblin of the ruddy moors, appearing to Lost Travellers at only the least-loved Cairns and Standing-Stones. Often described as having the demeanor of a ‘Cheeky Git’, the Mumbler offers advice, directions, and instructions to the Lost Traveller, but only in the purposefully unparseable nonsense that gives it its name. A mischeivous little bastard of the highest order, maybe give this guy a miss (Though they might enchant your boots if you mumble right back at them)
+1 BONUS GOB: Our Goblin Field Researcher Mahogany Woodstain is on the scene, she can’t hear a ruddy thing and she is FASCINATED
(Based on a conversation with @fabledquill)
GOBLIN WEEK: The Southbank Skravvler, or ‘Pigeoblin’, is one of the most common Goblineages YET DISCOVERED in the UK. Maybe you’ve even seen one today! Found bobbling around in city centres the world over, they are often seen eating their favourite foods (Abandoned Kebabs), showing off their jewellery (Stolen from empty houses owned by rich people) and saying their favourite word (‘Piss’). Dirty, amusing, and intelligent enough to be rude to people, please pat it on the head the next time you see one (Though maybe wash your hands afterwards)
LOVE THEM
REPORTS OF THE END OF HALLOWE’EN HAVE BEEN HIGHLY EXAGGERATED: For this year’s Hallowe’en party, I built a lil’ Paper-Maché Devil to sit on my shoulder and whisper all SORTS of Mischief into my ear, and though I’m LONG since immune to Infernal Temptation (I was quaffing Holy Water every five minutes and had a Protective Sigil in my sock), we came to a compromise and did an Elaborate Autumn Photoshoot, and I think the results speak for themselves
Michael: “EIGHT Horrible Fuckers, each more horrible than the last, and available now for the low low price of £1, I can’t get rid of these wretched boys fast enough”
…So I have taken all eight.
Look at these FANTASTIC DAMN CREATIONS:
The eyes in the wing! LOOK AT THE EYES IN THE WING! And his strangely adorable pointy nose.
