nu clothes and makeup!
me
today was An Experience
my hugely conservative UKIP relatives were around.
It got so bad that my other relatives even offered “just ignore her” support, which they’ve never done before. She was literally handing out a bag of clippings from the Daily Mail and some sort of petition in favour of it. At a Christmas party! I told her I was supporting Stop Funding Hate and that I wasn’t gonna support the Daily Mail, and after the other extended family had left things got really weird. We had a strangely civilized debate where I pointed out how the Daily Mail employs people like Katie Hopkins and Richard Littlejohn, who have done and said things I know she wouldn’t agree with, and when she sang the praises of Nigel Farage I pointed out that he goes fox-hunting which she also doesn’t agree with but she just…wrote everything I said off with vague statements. Trump? We’ve just gotta give him a chance! His neo-nazi supporters? Well we don’t KNOW they’re Nazis. There’s constant evidence that they are? Weeeeeell….
Then she started bringing up the Illuminati and the Rothschild conspiracy (she raised three half-Jewish children) and I just. I tried. Nothing went through to her. She contradicted herself loads of times when it came to Muslims and the Koran and the Bible, kept dropping in references to the non-white friends she had and she couldn’t even keep their ethnicities straight.
In mild despair I asked her, say I have children, those would be her great-grandchildren, what if they were adopted children who weren’t white or who were gay or transgender? Vague answers again and I was really hoping. She ended by saying “You’re just like me when I was younger!” and I hate being so uncharitable to her, she is my grandmother, but…I really hope I’m not.
Hey! I was tagged by @windona to name ten favourite characters from ten different fandoms! This is gonna be tricky…
Les Miserables: Grantaire
Star Wars: Qui-Gon
Spider-Man: Harry Osborn
The Last Man On Earth: Carol (Mike a close second)
Doctor Who: Amy Pond (Mickey an EXTREMELY close second)
Thunderbirds: John Tracy (Scott a very close sec….y’know what, I’ll stop doing that.)
Adventure Time: Simon Petrikov
Red Dwarf: Dave Lister
The Lord of the Rings: Boromir
Brooklyn 99: (The hardest one of all) Amy Santiago
I tag whoever wants to do it!
From my childhood diary. My thirteen-year-old self didn’t know this was OCD. Do they teach mental health in schools now? They didn’t back then, not much anyway.
I wish there was more I could offer to young kids today who think they might have OCD. All I can really offer is, if your brain starts to Play Games like mine did, go see a doctor or a therapist. But I know that’s not possible for everyone. My askbox is always open.
Bless you guys <3
My childhood journal is still at my parents’ house. Every time I’m there I try to save a few extra pages onto my computer in case anything happens to it, but there’s a lot of it and I reread it and I just wince in horror, even though I probably shouldn’t. None of it’s bad, I don’t think there’s a really bad word written about anyone in there, but there’s so much awful fucking poetry and all-caps and the ^_^ emoji that was so popular from 2001-2005ish and exclamation marks and “I’m gonna get back [some random schoolmate whose name was once important enough to me to write down but whom I have since completely forgotten] FOR INSULTING MY FANDOMS!!! ^_^”
That sort of thing. Years worth of it. Also quite a lot of detailed descriptions of the bullying I suffered at school (even now ‘suffered’ seems far too intense a word for it, though I’m assured by my thirteen-year-old self that it was painful and awful) and of the “stupid games” I played in my head which obviously was my OCD asserting itself, before I knew what it was and before any adult really had a chance to catch it. All of that stuff is just sitting in my bedroom like one of those fucking Obscurial things from the Fantastic Beasts movie, it’s agonizing to read, god I really was intensely lucky to live out my teenage years during a time where social media hadn’t really taken off yet. I’m not sorry I kept it, but the idea of ever having that awful, embarrassing stuff on the Internet where anyone could see it or comment on it or laugh at it –
It’s why I get so stupid for kids on here sometimes. Like that fifteen-year-old told they should kill themselves for thinking they were awesome, that sticks in my mind so much. Or when I see adults mockingly reblogging those posts made by children for children, you know the ones, “Harry Potter fandom, grab your wands! Star Wars fandom, grab your lightsabers!” As if embarrassing things were harmful! I say adults there but it’s not that children don’t often fall over themselves to hurt other children, mind.
To this day I feel like I deserved everything I got. Watching the casual bullying that thrives on here only serves to reinforce it really. My painfully embarrassing, smug, annoying 12-15 year old self did deserve a little more protection than she got I suppose –
