It’s a day that ends in Y so whatya know, it’s time to talk about my Grantaire Feels. It’s hard to summarise them this time around because it sounds like I’m attacking him and I’d never want to do that, he’s one of my Five Fictional Characters I Would Fight Someone Over…
Buuut, in modern AUs especially, I’ve noticed he often…has the edges taken off him. (This blog being a nifty exception.) Cos, we know what R is really like, we know how much he loves Enjolras and how much he cares for his friends, but he doesn’t always act like the good person he is underneath. Although I don’t think he ever truly hurt anyone as much as he hurt himself, he could definitely be Kind Of A Dick- he calls the waitresses at the Corinthe ugly, calls most people he talks about ugly, calls Matelote ugly to her face (admittedly he does it in such a way that I think he may have actually been trying to complement her in a stupid drunken sense, but still), grabs Louison the dishwasher for some reason, etc. I think, in a modern AU, there’s no way he’d be the hot tortured artist type, he’d be that guy left over at the end of the party who’s really drunk and he mumbles stuff at you that you honestly have no idea is lecherous or not and eventually you leave him on the sofa and go home. I’m pretty sure I knew a Grantaire at university, I’m pretty sure everyone’s met him at least once…
Anyway, somewhere in there is a point and the point is, I like that Grantaire had all these moments of being really quite horrible and yet he’s held up, eventually, as a shining example of selfless love. Because I really want to believe that no-one’s ever as bad as their lowest moments. (Luckily, the novel agrees.)
omg what if JVJ had left before fantine had died to go get cosette and he bargained her away from the thenardiers and just before he left he saw eponine and figured he didn’t want any kids to stay with the thenardiers so he asked to bargain for eponine and then he saw azelma and he got her and then he saw gavroche and he was just like “SHIT” and he took them all and then he got back to Fantine and she was like “oh yay you got cosette WHO ARE ALL THESE OTHER KIDS?!“ and he was like “they’re so cute it was like a buy one get three sale” and then him and fantine raised all four of them and no one died this is the best story ever.
They gotta go back and pick up the two babby boys, too! Or some good parent who won’t sell them and leave them out on the street has to!
mortals, i’m dreaming that the bar down the street from my house is flooded with beer and i’m one of the mops they’re using to sop it all up. i want a drink. i want to forget life. life is a hideous thing some asshole invented before he found tumblr. before you know it you’re dead, and it was worth nothing. and it takes way too much effort
life is like a bad reality tv show or a fanfic where the characters just keep literally running into each other all the time because it’s hard to find ways for people to actually meet. aka how do you even start living? do you have to get out bed? take a shower? put on clothes? be happy? happiness is basically NZT-48 – spoiler alert, it only exists in fiction. ecclesiastes said “all is vanity”, which basically means nothing, and i agree with that guy who probably never existed (i mean let’s be honest here, history relies on the memories of a lot of dead people)
and omg vanity is great. i mean, come on, what could be more ridiculous than calling a boxer a pugilist, a kitchen a laboratory, the shitter a lavatory, and etc pp? vanity is ridiculous no matter how you apply it. on the one hand, you’ve got kids in third world countries reading vogue and worrying about the proper fit to the one t-shirt they own, and on the other you’ve got kids in the first world spending a shit ton of money on clothes that look like they were donated by the kids in third world countries, so what the actual fuck. the first one is tragic; the second is obnoxious.
there’s basically no such thing as honor or dignity or human pride. look at octomom or fucking charles II, who made a night of a sirloin. i don’t even know what i’m talking about anymore, but moving on to my next point:
there is no point. everything is meaningless. people are nothing. i get to say this, according to wikipedia’s watered down definition of nihilism, because according to me, people have no meaning, as in they mean nothing to me, thus all of mankind is meaningless or actually what the actual fuck am i talking about i don’t even know anymore but i’m pretty sure i fucked that example up. who cares though, basically all men must die fuck the police you’re all pots calling the kettle black etc etc etc
if i was actually intelligent or well-read or even paid attention a little bit in school, i could insert some really good quotes in here to drive my point home, but i know absolutely nothing about anything and am too drunk and don’t give a fuck enough to drill google for Clever Things to Say, so deal with it. i’ve always been a lazy fuck. i mean, i wasted my entire art education playing fruit ninja on my roommate’s iPad (he was a selfish prick and considered thattheft?), and let’s be honest here, it was way more entertaining than figuratively wanking off about my feelings and my perceptions of the world through chalk, charcoal, acrylic etc mediums i mean come on
and that’s all i have to say about me, but don’t even think about judging me (i know you want to) as if you’re all any better
well NEWSFLASH
all humans suck. all supposedly good characteristics are like a step away from douchebaggery
moral people are basically bigots. anyone who can save money is a scrooge. there are more vices in virtue than there virtues, and i need a drink taking a break will be back to write more later
This drawing took me waaaay too long, but i enjoyed doing it. To go along with my Les Miserables obsession, i drew Enjolras’ death scene (ugh i love him why did he have to dieeee?). Drawn in ball point pen, not sure how long it took in hours… just 7 days worth of free time
You know what someone needs to write about? Modern AU Fantine.
If she was abandoned as a child she’d probably have grown up in the care system. She falls into a relationship with Tholomyes before she’s out of her teens, getting pregnant and giving birth.
When Tholomyes leaves her, though, she’s completely out to sea and doesn’t know what to do with herself, let alone a child. She has a small flat somewhere and (even though she doesn’t really know them) she leaves her two-year-old daughter with her next-door neighbours, the Thenardiers, because they have kids too. She finds it very very hard to get a job with no qualifications, and she finds it had making friends because life is so unkind to her and she’d rather spend every spare hour with her daughter. She does things like waitressing but the men hit on her (and worse) so she hates it.
The Thenardiers start charging her more and more money to look after Cosette and tell her they’ll report her to social services if she can’t pay, and so her child will be taken off her. She’s desperate for that not to happen so she pays them even when their demands get ridiculous. She loses her job as a waitress when an obnoxious rebuffed customer grabs her outside and stuffs snow down her top, and she kicks and punches him in retaliation. Really really desperate now, she turns to sex work, not suspecting that the Thenardiers are abusing Cosette on the days and nights they look after her. She manages to pay them, and she’s able to provide for Cosette, but she’s very very miserable.
Wolf > First Aid Kit Holy light, oh, burn the night, oh keep the spirits strong Watch it grow, child of wolf Keep holdin’ on
Keep The Streets Empty For Me > Fever Ray I learned to not eat the snow My fur is hot, my tongue is cold On a bed of spider web I think about to change myself
Good Enough > Evanescence And I’ve completely lost myself, and I don’t mind I can’t say no to you Shouldn’t let you conquer me completely Now I can’t let go of this dream Can’t believe that I feel
If I Needed You > Andrew Bird If I needed you would you come to me Would you come to me, for ease my pain? If you needed me I would come to you I’d swim the seas for to ease your pain
Not a Pretty Girl > Ani DiFranco I am not a pretty girl that is not what I do I ain’t no damsel in distess and I don’t need to be rescued so put me down punk maybe you’d prefer a maiden fair isn’t there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere
Parasol > Tori Amos I stare at the wall knowing on the other side The storm that waits for me Then the seated woman with a parasol May be the only one you can’t betray If I’m the seated woman with a parasol I will be safe in my frame
Be Mine > Robyn For the first time, there is no mercy in your eyes And the cold wind’s hitting my face and you’re gone And you’re walking away And I am helpless sometimes, wishing’s just no good ‘Cause you don’t see me like I wish you would
Female Robbery > The Neighbourhood I think I found out that I have nothing, That I have nothing in this place for me. I watched it all in my head, perfect sense. They’ll take me from me my bed
Tastes Like Sympathy > Birdeatsbaby I was once a child of God but then the devil kissed me He gave me fear, and he said my dear ‘God will never miss thee’
Pirate Jenny > Nina Simone Noon by the clock And so still at the dock You can hear a foghorn miles away And in that quiet of death I’ll say, “Right now. Right now!” Then they pile up the bodies And I’ll say, “That’ll learn ya!”
Young > Hollywood Undead I see the children in the rain like the parade before the pain. I see the love; I see the hate; I see this world that we can make! I see the life I see the sky. Give it all to see you fly… Yes, we wave this flag of hatred, but you’re the ones who made it!
Kill The Boy > Emeli Sande I walk around with a bullet on my tongue, Killer written on my face I know that when he finds out what I’ve done, It’s gonna take his life away And his heart will break and once the pain will stop the beating, Skin will turn as cold as ice. When his lungs collapse enough will there be no more breathing? I will gently close his eyes
Sorry > Maria Mena I just poured my heart out there’s bits of it on the floor And I take what’s left of it and rinse it under cold water And call him up for more
Oh Death > Jan Titus But what is this, that I cant see with ice cold hands taking hold of me When God is gone and the Devil takes hold, who will have mercy on your soul Oh, death
My Blood > Ellie Goulding The lost dreams are buried in my sleep for him And this was the ecstasy of a love forgotten And I’m thrown in the gunfire of empty bullets And my blood is all I see As you steal my soul from me
Nothing But The Water > Grace Potter and the Nocturnals Tried my hand at the bible Tried my hand at prayer But now nothing but the water is gonna bring my soul to bare
Prelude 12/21 > AFI This is what I brought you this you can keep, This is what I brought you may forget me I promise to depart just promise one thing, Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep
Bones > Ms Mr Dig up her bones but leave the soul alone Lost in the pages of self made cages Life slips away and the ghosts come to play These are hard times These are hard times for dreamers And love lost believers
