One thing I’ve noticed about myself when I’m thinking of goofy headcanons or scenarios about Harry Osborn when he’s a dad – and has an ideal living situation, let’s clarify – is that I lean into a lot of my experiences with my own dad.
Now, granted, my father and Harry don’t have a lot in common beyond “was kinda super skinny in his teens and 20s”, “had a bad mustache era”, and “not a conventionally attractive guy”. But I love my dad very dearly and I count myself very very fortunate for that. When I try to think of situations where I want to portray someone as being a good father, I think about the man who helped raise me.
And like… it wasn’t anything big. It was all the little things. It was giving him a hug when he got home from work. It was him introducing me to his favorite music, which became my favorite music. It was him trying his best to be understanding even when I was going through some really really rough times mentally, even if he didn’t get it. It was him helping me move, him making an effort to be really cool to my girlfriend, him sending me memes and dad jokes every day just to make me smile.
But my dad was never the tough guy. That was always my mom. He wasn’t exactly a protector, he was a pacifist and he wants to be liked by people and while he’ll stand up for me when it comes down to it, he’s never a physical fighter. But I know he loves me and our family and would still do anything for us. That’s the kind of dad I see Harry being, too.
There’s a lot in canon about Harry unfortunately being an absent father for long stretches of time but I do think that when he’s written well, his kids are really his life. They’re his biggest priority. He will put them before anything else. It means a lot to me when a writer puts the effort into showing Harry as a good father; as someone who is trying so desperately to break the cycle of abuse. He’s not perfect, and sometimes he screws up (sometimes really horribly). But he loves Normie and Stanley, he loves them and I like when I get to see that.
I really can’t overstate how important Harry’s fatherhood is to me. I always feel a little bit robbed that after Harry came back during the Parker Industries era, we never really got to see the way he juggles his whole life, especially where the kiddos are concerned. Certainly we didn’t see much at all in the 2018 run before his unceremonious death at the end of Kindred. But in my heart he ultimately left a legacy as a good father, and if I had my druthers, I would want to keep it that way.
Because sometimes, he reminds me of my dad – and my dad is one of the best men I know.
13. What’s the worst character assassination you’ve seen happen?
I know I’ve already talked about this but, uh, Kindred (Amazing Spider-Man [2018] #70-74…ish… I think…) really did a number on Harry Osborn and I’m so mad about it, and after reading literally everything about Harry before diving into THAT arc (I’m not even joking, I went down the wiki list of appearances) I’m just. I am just sitting here. Wondering what happened to my beautiful boy.
Also mad about this!!!!!! What the fuck!!!!!! Harry loves his family and would NEVER give up. Also taking psychic damage that this series forgot Stanley existed.
“But Kita, it wasn’t him, the Harry we saw post-OMD was a clone-” BUUUULLSHIT!!! You’re going to tell me that all the work during ASM v2 was just for nothing? That it was a clone + false memories?? And that even pre-OMD Harry, pre-SSM #200 Harry whatever I don’t care, that he was capable of being a criminal mastermind???
Goblin Jr. was never meant to BE a criminal mastermind. He turned to the Goblin because he felt it gave him power and strength he felt he needed to protect his family!! He was traumatized by his father constantly telling him he wasn’t good enough, literally HAUNTED by his perception of what others thought of him, do you know what killed Harold Theopolis Osborn? The Goblin Serum. The fact that his motivation would be anything but his own self-perception and desire to be what he felt everyone else expected of him is preposterous. I’m still mad. Don’t talk to me.
24. Ship(s) that makes you cringe.
I’m running out of examples for this question, but it’s still fun to answer, so: post-OMD Liz/Harry. Why. That is a full lesbian and a gay man. Please stop.
@softgrungeprophet said it best as they were witnessing my read of all things Harry Osborn:
also no offense that is the least sexy ear bite i’ve ever seen in my life
Thanks, Nadia. But yeah, for real though, I would love for them to be friends! They can be happily divorced parents who love their kids.
47. What’s the worst blatantly untrue fanon take you thought was canon?
I consider myself quite fortunate that I don’t often wade into fandom circles where I don’t already have a really clear understanding of the source material. So it’s been more like, “lied to by adaptations” for most of this kind of thing. That and really out-of-context comic panels.
So, with that, and not to be mean, I will say I don’t think Spider-Man and Deadpool have very good chemistry in any sense of the word. Not from what I’ve seen written. Not compared to either of their respective usual supporting casts.
I’ll also say that I was briefly convinced that Tony Stark and Peter Parker had ever had a good relationship. After reading the events around Civil War and later appearances, I’ve decided it’s much better when they’re antagonistic. (Amazing Spider-Man #13… I think)
And LASTLYYY the adaptations gaslit me into thinking Peter and Harry were friends first but that’s NOT TRUE!! Guess who was friends first!!! Harry and Flash. And Peter was mad about it. 😂 ASM Family #4 you are everything to me.
Shoutout also to Webspinners #3. JMD gets it. Also Harry was nursing a crush on Flash since they met in college and nobody can take this headcanon from me DIE MAD ABOUT IT.
I will forever and always be livid about Kindred. Pre-BND Harry got away unscathed by a hair I think (since it was established Mephisto influenced him into whatever the fuck that was with the demon twins), but post-BND Harry is more or less a write-off now. Died to save his abusive father mere minutes after it was established said father sold him to the devil. What. The. Hell.
Sorry for hijacking this post, but oh man. That storyline didn’t just make me hate Nick Spencer, didn’t just make me hate Marvel, it made me hate comics.
Harry Osborn really is just “I want people to be nice to me and love me. That’s it.” Like it really is. Of course he became Peter’s best friend; the guy was nice to him. Does not take much. He convinces his dad to rent him an apartment close to college and asks Pete to just come live with him for free in a nice two-bedroom in NY because he wants him there. He drives around because he gets anxious and down and driving relaxes him and Peter doesn’t have a car so he’s always like “Oh oh! : ) Hi Peter do you need a ride?” and Pete is like ‘thank god no taxi fare let’s DO this’. He thinks Gwen and MJ are so cool and neat and he loved Gwen so much even though she broke up with him and died two decades ago, he still thinks about how much she means to him. He just wants to hug Normie and tell him he’s a great son and he loves him. He wants Liz to not hate him and think he’s weak and he’s terrified of people finding out all the things wrong with him but none of them care, and he’s great. He’s the most tragic character of all time. He loves his terrible dad so genuinely and so much, and he loves his friends so much, he loves his family so much. Literally all he ever wanted was people to be nice to him and love him and his life and sanity fall apart and he gets tragedy after tragedy and breakdown after breakdown and but he never really breaks he’s always just a little left. He tries so hard to go off the deep end but he can never really make himself hurt Peter, because of course he can’t. He’s Harry Osborn. Who loves friends from twenty years ago like it was last night. Even at his lowest he gets die telling his best friend he would have finally been proud of him because he was able for a second to be like he is, and pass while smiling and holding his best friend’s hands. Of course he does. How else could Harry Osborn have ever died. He’s Harry.
#He’s so happy when he dies. it’s the thing. he’s so happy. he’s been miserable for years and years and years#and exhausted and alone and insane and trying so hard and so broken and so desperate. he tries to kill himself with Peter becuase he can’t#go on any more. but he doesn’t. he gets to save his kid and his friend and his best friend. and they love him and try to save him#and he gets to die peacefully holding his best friend’s hands in an ambulance. and three of the people he loves most in the world are with#him. he’s not alone. and he saved their lives and they’re being so nice to him because they really love him#and he gets to die like that knowing that and he’s smiling
Man. An excellent post. I have so many thoughts on Harry and the thin line between sacrifice and suicide.
Still Absolutely Goddamn Losing It over this scene from Spectacular Spider-Man 221. Does YOUR friends-to-enemies-to-lovers OTP have a scene where one party begs the other to join them forever in eternity?
616 Harry Osborn is such a unique character partially because he is composed of so many traits commonly derided, treated as jokes or used to turn a character into a one note gimmick in mainstream media yet he’s mostly (MOSTLY, I am glaring at a select few writers here) been written as someone we’re supposed to sympathize with, moreover someone who must learn to sympathize with himself
He’s far from conventionally attractive but is never mocked for it
He has no badass powers, yet his narrative is not about acquiring them but about how forcing them on himself is harmful. He’s not a genius or natural leader either, and he doesn’t need to be – His greatest asset is the love and gentleness in his heart
He’s a jumpy and effeminate man, but is never presented as lesser for it and must in fact accept himself, moreover accept that the people he cares for love and respect him as he is, in order to start healing from his childhood trauma.
He has a “scary” mental disorder, the handling of which has admittedly been dubious. But if nothing else, Harry gets to exist as a character who is kind and caring and deserving of love, who also happens to have schizophrenia. Not to mention that JMD has actually woven Harry’s condition into his goblinizing without using if as a direct cause, but rather as a contributing stress factor that accelerated a pre existing emotional issue.
Similarly, his substance abuse is rooted in his troubled upbringing and the emotional scars its left him with but is never played as “tragically beautiful” or “dark and sexy” (I could go on a whole nother tangent here about how 616 Harry defies the common troubled rich boy with daddy issues archetype in many ways)
I think all of these were pretty rare things to find in mainstream media for the time they were being written, and in many respects still are today. Finding all of them in one character who is so complex and well developed and iconic to the franchise on top of it is even more interesting
Eugene Patilio, a Z-list superhero who I was always quite fond of, showed up on She-Hulk last night! Well, sort of. That was #NotMyEugene, as Twitter might say. Others have pointed out that She-Hulk’s rich loser, amusing though he was, didn’t really have much in common with the Frog-Man of the comics, and was really […]
