Spider-Man fanfic: Us
Title: Us
Fandom: Spider-Man (Insomniac games)
Relationship: Peter/Harry
Summary: Harry’s thoughts as he dies. (Well, you know. Sort of dies.) An experiment in second-person perspective!
Read it on AO3, or click below:
You rip open your chest so the person you love can kill you.
Black ooze seeps out of you and the pain is intense, but a part of you can almost appreciate the romance in it. At least you’re technically dying for someone rather than just dying.
There’s no ‘you’! comes a voice. There’s only ‘us.’
You wrest control of your brain back and scream at Peter to hurry up and do it, or words to that effect. Your eyes are jammed shut so you can’t see his face. You try to force them open, but you can’t.
It’s unfair. It’s so unfair.
Peter is hesitating. “Now!” you scream.
Peter presses his hand down and fills you with light.
You hear him screaming and you try to block it out. Your new skin contracts around his hand, pulls it in. Tries to pull his whole body in.
You desperately try to focus your brain. Where are MJ and Miles? Are they okay? Neither of them will ever forgive you but it’d be nice to know they’re okay.
More screaming. More noise. And everything hurts. Why did you do this to us, Harry?
That’s enough. No more us. Never. You need a good last memory. Think of Peter.
You best friend, the love of your life, and now your executioner. His hand is on your chest now, right over your heart. Under different circumstances, that would be everything you ever wanted, but these aren’t different circumstances.
There’s screaming in your ears, frantic agonized screaming. Grief screaming.
Weird and horrible how these things turn out, isn’t it? Pete is under your skin now, you can feel it. For all intents and purposes he’s inside you.
Careful what you wish for.
Boy, are you the poster child for that now. You wished to stay alive and it came at a terrible price. Then you wished to exchange your life for Peter’s, when it came down to it, and then you complained when that actually happened. Then you wished to kill the man who almost killed Peter (that was all you, you wanted him dead) and the next thing you knew his blood was squelching down your throat. Then you wished to be a you and not an us.
You made plenty of right choices, just in the wrong order.
If you had one more choice then you would choose to stay.
The pain is starting to fade. Is it over? It feels like it’s over. It feels like you’re dying. Every cell in your body hurts.
Despite the pain, you turn your head to look at MJ. She looks distraught but okay. Miles is behind her somewhere and he’s okay as well. Soon they’ll be safe in their homes again.
You turn your head once more.
“I love you,” Peter says.
No, wait. If you had one more choice you would choose to say it back. But all your words have gone. Everything’s gone. Almost everything. You can’t even make your hand move onto Peter’s and rest there, like it should.
But there are other things you can do. You look Peter in the eye and smile and you think of how lucky you’ve been that you already filmed a goodbye. That you’ve said all you need to say. Peter will get the message in the days to come, after you’ve left. There’s a video message and two plants, one from the woman who raised you and one from the woman who raised Peter. Peter can combine them and spread them across the city, and the two of you will live on forever as one.
You’ll be an us again. Joyfully, this time.
Keep your eyes on Peter. Look at him until you can’t anymore. It’s okay. I love you too.