Spider-Man: No Way Home fanfic: Spoilers

No, that’s not a warning, that’s the title of the fic! I mean, there ARE spoilers, big ones. But the fanfic is also called “Spoilers.” Ya with me? Okay good.

Title: Spoilers
Fandom: Spider-Man
Summary: Two characters from different universes talk about their lives and relationships.
Notes: Disney seems determined to exclude bisexual relationships from their Spider-Man franchise. This is… not the case here.

Read it on AO3, or click below:

So naturally, once there were three variations of one person in the same room each one internally assigned himself a name to differentiate himself from the others. The youngest one was just called Peter. The oldest decided he’d be “Pete” because that was what his friends called him. And the middle one figured he’d be “Parker” because, well, all his friends who might have called him anything else were gone.

“You know, uh, you mentioned someone named Gwen. I know a Gwen,” said Pete to Parker.

Parker froze and stopped what he was doing, and after a second he said, “You do?”

“I do.”

“Gwen Stacy?”

“Yeah,” Pete said. “I thought you might want to know… after what you said… in my universe she’s fine. She’s absolutely fine.”

Parker stared around with a giddy, sad look in his eyes, looking at everything but the other Peters. Finally he said quietly, “Okay. Tell me about her. Please.”

“I didn’t know her like you knew your Gwen. We only went on one date and it was a disaster,” Pete said, deciding in the moment to not elaborate on that. “But even though it must have been an awful night for her, which was all my fault, she forgave me eventually and we were friends. I mean, we still are friends. She’s kind, compassionate, fun…”

Parker swiped at his eyes, where obvious tears were forming. Pete carefully put his hand on his shoulder. “Ur, really pretty, she worked as a model for a while. Clever as well. She didn’t have a natural aptitude for science…”

My Gwen did,” said Parker, sounding so sad and so, so jealous.

“…but she always tried really hard to learn, and I always admired that about her.”

The other Peter, the youngest one, glanced across at them. He recognized the looks on their faces, probably because he’d seen similar ones in his own reflection, and he suddenly whipped around and announced to MJ and Ned,

“Gosh, you know what, I really need the bathroom. I’m gonna go use the bathroom.”

“What?” said MJ.

“I said, I’m going to go use the bathroom,” Peter said more loudly. “Ned, you need to use the bathroom too, right?”

“Oh, absolutely,” said Ned, already halfway to the door.

“Oh,” said MJ, cottoning on. “I need to go get snacks from the vending machine. Lots of snacks.” And with that, all three kids were gone.

Pete reached into his pocket and produced a handkerchief, delicately embroidered by Aunt May years ago, and offered it to the other man. He took it and flat-out sobbed into it while Pete patted his shoulder.

“Does your Gwen know who you are?” Parker finally asked.

“No, almost no-one does.”

“Is her father dead?”

“Uh, yes, yes he is, but he didn’t die violently. He just died in his sleep a few years ago. Like people are supposed to.”

Parker looked up to stop the flow of tears and said, his voice completely breaking, “Is she happy? In your universe?”

“Yes. She’s happy,” Pete said gently. “She’s got a job at Empire State University, and she’s in a relationship with, ah, a really nice woman…”

“Huh,” said Parker in wonder.

“Yeah, turns out she plays for both teams,” Pete said. “She got together with my old housemate, who’s called Ursula, I introduced them a couple years back. We all meet up for holidays sometimes.”

“That sounds nice,” said Parker, his voice achingly sad.

“I’m so sorry,” Pete said. “I thought…. if it was me, I’d want to know. And you are me.”

“Yes,” said Parker, and once more he wiped at his eyes. “I did want to know. Thank you.” And he let out a long ragged breath.

The room was silent, apart from some low beeping coming from a computer and the whirring of a centrifuge.

Parker asked, “Is there anything you want to ask about my universe?”

 “That’s a big question,” Pete said. “A very big question.” He looked around the room, and stared hard at the wall. “What did you do to the man who killed your uncle?”

“Nothing. I never found him.”

“Then I don’t know if I should tell you this next part,” said Pete. But that was a lie, he had to. He held up the vial in his hand. “The person I’m making this cure for, the man who can turn into sand, Flint Marko, he’s the one who killed my uncle. Him and a guy called Carradine, who is dead. But Marko was the one with his finger on the trigger.”

“Jesus Christ,” said Parker. With a weak laugh he said, “Now there’s a spoiler. Man. So in my universe, all I have to do is look for a guy made of sand?”

“Maybe. I mean, not necessarily. But maybe.”

“What did you do when you met him?”

Pete turned the vial over in his hands and said, “I forgave him, eventually.”

“I knew you would,” said Parker, which meant of course, I know I would… eventually. He gripped the other’s shoulder and then dropped his hand again.

“Did you forgive your Harry Osborn?” he asked. “Ever?”

Pete almost dropped the test tube he was holding, he was that shocked. He looked his other self right in the eyes and asked shakily,

“Wait. What’s Harry to you?”

Parker stated in a cold voice, a voice that Pete had only ever heard in his own mind when he was in the depths of the Venom insanity,

“He’s the one who killed my Gwen.”

“Oh,” said Pete. He felt so weak in the knees that he had to sit down. Unfortunately all that was in reach was the floor, so he sat on that.

There was movement near the lab door. Both men heard Peter say, “Um, so, are you guys alright?”

 “Yeah,” said Pete, looking around as if only just realizing he was on the ground. “We were discussing, uh, spoilers. Big spoilers. It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“Okay,” said Peter, not sounding convinced in the slightest. “I, ur… I’m gonna get snacks too. Do you guys want anything? I’m gonna get you something.” And there was the sound of running feet.

Parker knelt by his counterpart, and went so far as to briefly clasp his hand.

“God, I didn’t mean… I thought in every universe Harry betrayed us.”

“No, no,” said Pete, “I…” He trailed off. Then he got back to his feet and cleared his throat and said as if delivering a soliloquy, “He wasn’t a murderer. He was lost and unwell and his mind was warped by his father, but he didn’t have it in him to kill. He died saving my life, and I loved him very much.”

“I’m so sorry.” Now it was Parker’s turn to say it.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault if things were very different in your world, if…” Once more he was unable to complete the full sentence.

“The worst spoiler,” Parker said sadly. “God.”

Pete tipped the contents of his vial into the injection device and wondered if the other Harry could have been saved.

 “There’s one more thing,” Parker said, “but it feels weird telling you, because we’re functionally the same person and you might know this about yourself already, and if you don’t it’ll be weird, and if I’m wrong that’ll be worse-“

“What is it?”

“I’m bisexual. Like your Gwen. Are you? Are we?”

Pete pondered this for a few seconds. His response, when it finally came, was,

“Oh darn!”

Oh darn?!”

“Oh… darn. Because that might explain a lot actually,” said Pete, his mind still on the person it had been on a moment ago. “Huh. That’s… that’s… Well, whaddya know?”

Parker nodded slowly, with a small sad smile.

“There wasn’t really much of a word for it when I was your age,” Pete said. “It’s good that there is now. It doesn’t change anything in some senses, but… Thank you. Sincerely.”

Parker let out a breath it was clear he had been holding for a long, long time. Actually, they sort of both had been doing that.

“Okay! Whew. Good. And you’re welcome.”

Pete nudged him in the side. “Oh my god. We swing both ways.”

Parker laughed, a proper cheerful laugh, and then a bag of Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos landed between them. A web was attached. Peter was at the door again, too far away to hear their conversation but still looking on with concern.

“I got you some food,” he said.

“Thanks,” said Pete.

MJ and Ned were still absent. Peter inched forward and said,

“You were talking about your…god…your own dead people, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, we were.”

“Do I know any of them?” Peter asked. He had definitely been thinking hard about this, and there was a deep fear in his eyes. He had lost too much already, and they all knew it.

“I don’t think you’ve met them yet. And maybe you never will, who knows?”

Peter nodded.

“Do you want spoilers?” Pete asked.

“I… no. I don’t think I do.”

“That’s a wise choice,” Pete told him. “I don’t think I would have either, if I was in your position.”

“Makes sense,” said Peter. But he wasn’t done. He cleared his throat and said,

“There is one thing I want to ask. Not a spoiler.”

“Go ahead,” said Pete, pretty sure he knew what was coming.

“I never got a chance to tell Aunt May this. And, well…” Tears sprung to his eyes and he did nothing to remove them. “It’s not a big deal but I thought I should ask you guys. I’m bi. Are you?”

Pete clapped his hand on Parker’s shoulder with a smile. Parker said, “Yes! Yes, we were just talking about it.”

“Oh,” said Peter, giving the first genuine smile either of the other two had seen from him. “Oh, that’s good.”

“Also, I don’t have to tell you this,” Parker said, “but your May would have been so happy to hear that. There’s no universe where she wouldn’t have been.”

“Thank you,” said Peter, and all three of them instinctively hugged.

“I’m so sorry about your lost loved ones,” Peter said.

“Lost and found,” said Parker, his tone resolute.