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I did actually see Spider-Man: Homecoming today! There are a lot of things I really liked about it. I frickin love that it has a more diverse cast than any MCU movie released so far, and that you can see Jewish kids!! and Muslim kids!!! just randomly chilling out in the background like how they don’t generally on screen. And I loved Ned. That kid is awesome. He even made a fedora adorable. What?

BUT I guess…I can’t quite get over how they translated the female characters to screen. Okay, you’ve got a lovely, sweet Liz Allen, she’s perfect. You’ve got Betty Brant with… with the exact iconic Gwen Stacy look, blonde hair and black hairband, okay I’ll go with that I guess? And then you’ve got Zendaya, the perfect casting choice for Mary Jane Watson, playing someone who has the nickname MJ but is not technically Mary Jane Watson? Okay….? And the message I got from all that is that Peter’s main love interests throughout the years – Liz, Betty, Gwen and Mary Jane – are interchangable in the eyes of these filmmakers, and that really and truly bums me out. Add to that that Aunt May never really gets her due either, and…

Basically, it is a really, really good superhero movie it’s just not a very good Spider-Man movie? I mean… there’s not a single mention of Uncle Ben in there. A Spider-Man film!? That doesn’t mention Uncle Ben!? Come on!