qui gon headcanon


if he’s trapped at a fancy dinner party somewhere with gross politicians? like imagine qui gon and a table full of really awful senators

he can effortlessly silence the entire table and kill the mood by talking about whatever atrocities he’s seen recently while on missions for the order

Awful Senator: blah blah blah lazy poor people, am i right???? oh, but master jinn, you must have some fascinating stories about life as a jedi!

qui gon: oh, yes, absolutely [launches into an explanation of the galaxy’s main child slavery and human trafficking markets, in excruciating detail, with stomach-turning examples of things he’s witnessed]

senators: [uncomfortable silence, no longer interested in eating tiny veggie and cheese hors d’oeuvres]

(full disclosure, this was 100% lifted from my dad, who has written books on 1) a serial killer 2) the death penalty and 3) children who died because their parents refused to get them medical care on religious grounds. many a well-intentioned “so what are you working on now?” has led to some really gruesome topics during cocktail hour)