i miss doctor who. i miss the soft lighting of series one and two. i miss ordinary but extraordinary rose. i miss strong but caring martha. i miss loud but fragile donna. i miss guilt-ridden nine and furious ten. i miss the old tardis. i miss when doctor who was about people, not production value.
I miss Amy and her mental problems, which were like mine. I miss her abandonment issues, her anxious “We’re still together in ten years?” to Rory, her complete sobbing breakdowns whenever something went badly wrong. I miss that girl who could barely take care of herself, because I could barely take care of myself either back then. I watched Amy rebuild the universe from her memory and I thought if she could do it so could I. I remember observing her neglectful aunt placing her face in her hands as Amy shouted out at her wedding and reflecting on how very little my own moments of madness were understood.
I miss Rory. He was great, not a flawless person but a good man. I miss his constantly being torn between the masculine fantasy of the Last Centurion and the oft-mocked reality of being a male nurse. I miss his always striving to be kind in a very unkind world.
I miss Clara. What a goddamn amazing Mary Sue! She got her own TARDIS and her own companion and her own way of cheating death. She was a liar and a manipulator and the cleverest person in the room. She kissed ladies and loved it and she kissed men and loved it and she wasn’t punished for anything. She got to live forever.
I miss Danny. I think of him sometimes when Remembrance Day rolls around and poppies are everywhere, even though I shouldn’t, he was fictional. But I thought he was a good stand-in for the millions of real soldiers who return from war and have to pick up the pieces of their life all alone afterwards.
I miss River. Whenever people compliment her, someone always jumps in with a “How dare you compliment the clueless man who wrote her?” as if she was nothing more than her author. So many female characters get that, although few of the male ones do. She was a walking power fantasy, an abuse survivor who shot dead her abusers, a wisecracker, a genius, a person who always came out on top. Brave, heroic, reckless, ruthless, pansexual, perfection. A female Captain Jack Harkness with half his fandom.
I’m going to miss Bill when she leaves. The racist British tabloids are always quietly gleeful over the possibility of her only staying for one series, just as they were with Martha. I know she’s going to be amazing, have you seen Pearl Mackie’s Twitter, that girl is on FIRE. I hope she burns a huge hole.
I don’t miss being told there’s only one kind of people stories should be written about.