Ah well. Tabloid journalism has its merits.
“The “Star Wars” prequels plunge into several aspects of character
development, among them the deeply vital information that Obi-Wan Kenobi
was, in his youth, fully hot.”This article is perfect. Another excerpt (in case some people aren’t convinced by the title):
Yes, we have much to treasure in this chrysalis form of young, hot Obi-Wan Kenobi, who, as portrayed in “Episode I,” has been waved aside as a tight-braided, lightsaber-up-his-butt sort, devoting a disproportionate percentage of his life to standing very still and occasionally declaring “Yes, Master.” It is an intergalactic tour de force of Sideshow Bobism.It is also a grand-slam exploration of the vast emotional range lying within “Yes, Master.” Anger, thoughtfulness, disapproval, slight nausea: Obi-Wan has a “Yes, Master” for all seasons. For the bulk of the film, Kenobi barely cracks a smile, instead allowing his occasionally furrowed brow and his cha-cha lightsaber twirls to do the talking. And when he does break down, when the pain of losing a loved one overwhelms his careful training as his mentor dies in his arms, it is with one… final… sobbing… “Yes, Master.” The man has consistency, if not a thesaurus.
Kenobi seemed to realize, for instance, that things were not going to go well when young Anakin and his L.L. Bean backpack first skipped into the Jedi Temple. “That boy is dangerous,” he snapped. He knew — he knew— that the child would grow up to be the type of person who used “Sand is rough” as a pickup line, a person who Kenobi actually had to remind that use of one’s Jedi powers to feed fruit to one’s girlfriend qualifies as an outrageous case of Force abuse.
What we did not know is where Kenobi went so horribly awry in the training of young Skywalker, which is a fairly major facet of the films’ narrative arc in the sense that the entire saga pretty much wouldn’t exist without a Vader to stomp about, billowing his cape and lethally pointing at bureaucrats.
It is indeed mysterious, as Obi-Wan offered himself as a highly responsible role model in “Episode II.” He didn’t like reckless driving; he disapproved of being chained to a big pillar as large animals with pincers approached; he just said no to deathsticks. Where did he go wrong? Did he not give Anakin enough “Super Job!” reward stickers on his seatwork? Was he too strict? Too soft? Was it the way he shoved his apprentice into a flaming lava pit and left him for dead? What happened?
amazing