clientsfromhell:

Client: Our website is down. We need it up now. All our business is done via
our website.

Me: You cancelled our services in May 2014.

Client: Yeah, but it was working last week, and we need it up now. We’re losing
money even as we speak.

Me: You haven’t paid us since April 2014, and you said your new IT company
had it last year. We took it down in a bit of a virtual clean-up last week

Client: Yeah, but it was working last week and we need it back up. Now.

Me: I have an email from you telling me to cancel your service in May 2014.
We haven’t charged you since then… but your website was still up.

Client: Yeah… so you should have warned us before taking it down.

Me: You told us to take it down. Last year. Then you stopped paying us

Client: We need it now. We’re losing thousands of dollars every day

Me: Ok… we need to get it off a back up drive, then you need to pay for the
hosting of that website from May last year to now.

Client: Wait, wait, wait… you want money from us? No way. No, no, no, we’ll
find a new web designer, make a better site, then find someone to host it, and we’re gonna sue you for not warning us that you’re taking our site
down.

Me: You told us to take it down last year. You stopped paying us. You
should ask your new IT company why they didn’t migrate it. You want to build a
new site? Cool. That will take a few weeks, you said you were losing thousands
daily. It’ll cost less than that to have your site up in a few hours.

Client: &$%# YOU

Me: Ok… thanks for calling. Is there anything else I can help you with?