Waterloo Road (Series 7, Spring Term) In Five Minutes

MICHAEL: Hello everyone, I’m going to turn this school around!
MICHAEL’S DREAM: *stab stab stabbity stab*

PHOENIX: So, our Nan’s dead. We’re gonna have to go live with our alcoholic father, bro.
HARLEY: *cries*
MICHAEL: Don’t worry, your alcoholic father has agreed to take you in!
PHOENIX: THAT WAS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT WE WANTED

SIAN: I used to date Michael, but now I’ve married this jerk.
THIS JERK JEZ: *alienates his son and cheats at rugby*
SIAN: Wait, I love Michael!
LINDA: I love Michael!
MADI: I hate Sian!
JEZ: I hate Michael!
MICHAEL: And I hate…doors.

RONAN: Vicki, all this studying and trying to improve your life that you’re doing, it’s kind of weirding me out.
VICKI: Ronan, come check out what’s in this science book!…It’s a list of the FUCKS I DO NOT GIVE.

FINN: My last girlfriend died tragically, so I could use a new one. How about you, Trudi?
TRUDI: Go on then. I must warn you, though, I come with an angry brother.
TARIQ: HOW DARE YOU MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS TRUDI THAT IS DISGUSTING OMG
MICHAEL: *makes TARIQ Head Boy*

CHALKY: I really like you, Janeece! Can we date?
JANEECE: That’s so sweet! But I only like you as a good friend.
CHALKY *calls her a slag, spreads nasty rumours about her and insults her on Facebook does not do any of that, because he is a GENINUE NICE GUY*

RONAN: So, what’s actually going on with us…?
[VICKI hits RONAN, then turns around and walks into a DOOR, giving herself a BLACK EYE and making people suspicious that RONAN has HIT HER]
RONAN: What are the chances of that?

SCOUT: Hi, I’m a teenager with no references or qualifications. Can I lie my way into a job with you?
MIA: Sure, why not?
SCOUT: What are the chances of that?

MICHAEL: Oh, I also hate the guy who stabbed me.
GUY WHO STABBED HIM: *gets hit by car*
MICHAEL: WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF…I’m not even gonna say it.

LINDA: STALKING POWERS ACTIVATE
MICHAEL: omg
CHALKY: omg girls like me!

PHOENIX: Wait, I was doing something in this Michael/Linda storyline, right?
RONAN: At least me and Vicki parted on amicable terms…I guess?
EMILY: SCOUT I LOOOOOVE YOU

LINDA: So it turns out I’m what you’d call a bunny-boiler…which is ironic, because I did actually have a pet bunny.
MICHAEL: noooooooooooooo
SERIES: *ends*