(no subject)

My entry for the DW Minor Characters Ficathon. :D

Title: What We Want
Rating: R, but only because of all the swearing, really
Pairing: Jackie/Mickey
A/N: Feel free to ignore the bit right at the end. It’s a little weird.

What We Want

7th April 2006

It began with Shireen Matthews shouting at him, abusing him and trying to beat him up. This took place exactly one month and two days after Rose had left possibly for good. It was a bad sort of day- heck, bad sort of year by anyone’s standards, and Shireen had to go and make it worse.

“Mickey, you’re a fucking perv,” She was sitting on the wall, smoking a cigarette. After Rose had left she seemed to be getting through at least twenty a day. She’d get lung cancer, he thought.

“What?” he asked cluelessly.

“Jackie told me yesterday that she doesn’t want you in her flat, she doesn’t like the way you look at her.”

He could only blink stupidly at this: he hadn’t been looking at her at all as far as he knew. “Oh,” he said.

“I think you’re a perv too,” Shireen said. She coughed. “You always made me feel a bit sick,”

“Right,” Mickey said, mostly because he could think of nothing else. He began to walk away.

“Don’t you fucking walk away from me!” Shireen shrieked, and she jumped off the wall and grabbed his shoulder. “Rose doesn’t deserve a piece of crap like you -hitting on her own mother while she’s away- what sort of piece of shit are you?”

“Shireen, get off!” He didn’t want to hit her, so he just dodged away as she aimed a kick at his shins, and fled. She yelled something illegible after him.

“Oh god,” he moaned to himself. He went home.

*****

Mickey kept a photograph in his bedside table, and he looked at it most days. It was of Rose- Jackie was in the background. He hadn’t really noticed her there before. He thought, looking at it now, that she looked like Rose’s sister instead of her mother.

Shireen’s words buzzed through his head.

He hadn’t been hitting on Jackie, that was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard. They’d become friends once Rose had left -no small feat really considering that Jackie had spent a year telling everyone he was a murderer. She’d apologized for how she’d treated him, and he’d been impressed, because he hadn’t expected that…and he’d kept her off the alcohol, and he’d bought her presents for her birthday, because Rose wasn’t there to do it, was she? Expensive presents and all. She’d cried- he’d made her cry.

And she’d been telling Shireen he made her feel uncomfortable. Right. Great. So she didn’t even appreciate him, after all they’d been through.

*****

Eventually, he gave up. He left the flat and walked over to hers. It was a short distance, but it felt like a mile. When he knocked on the door, no-one answered.

“Jackie?” he called. “Are you in there?”

A tearful voice came back. “That you, Mickey? Leave me alone, why can’t you?”

He rolled his eyes and knocked again. This time, she opened the door. She was still in her dressing gown- she’d probably been in it all day- and her eyes were red.

“Jackie, you look terrible,” he told her. She glared at him, which he supposed he deserved.

“Mickey, I thought you’d ‘ave gotten the message,” she said, still glaring. “I don’t want you here no more. People are starting to talk.”

Mickey had only felt this bewildered once before in his entire life. The last time, it was because aliens disguised as shop dummies had come to take over the earth. This seemed somehow even worse.

“Talk about what?”

“About you and me! People keep goin’ on about it- they’d wondering what we’re up to.”

“We’re not up to anything,” he answered, wondering if someone was going to jump out with a video camera and laugh at him any minute now. This was all rather surreal.

“I know that and you know that, but they don’t, so you need to go,”

“But,” he said hopelessly.

“Go.”

So he went. He knew he’d kick himself for it later, because he’d done so many things he’d kicked himself for- not gone with Rose to make sure she didn’t die, for example. Not behaved in a slightly less cowardly manner during his first encounter with the Doctor. Not done more for Jackie. That sort of thing.

*****

31th March, 2006

He went to Jackie’s flat that day because he knew in the back of his mind that he really ought to. He didn’t know how he knew, but he didn’t care too much.

When he arrived at the flat the door was unlocked, but that wasn’t actually too unusual. Not anymore. He knew in the back of his mind who she was keeping it open for- it wasn’t him.

Jackie was slumped on the sofa watching TV. “Oh, it’s you,” she said when she looked up and saw him. “Knock, why don’t you?”

“Sorry,” he said automatically, and then she burst into hysterical tears. Mickey realised he had been expecting that, and sat down next to her.

“Sorry,” she said, through hiccups. “Pass the tissues-”

He passed them to her. She blew her nose loudly. “I wish I’d done that when you weren’t here,” she said. “It’s just- she said ten seconds before she was back, you ‘eard it, and she’s not back and maybe she- and we can’t tell anyone! You can’t go to the police and say me daughter’s gone off with an alien and she might ‘ave gotten killed…”

Mickey put his arm around her.

“‘An I’ve told ’em all she’s just gone off travelling, ‘an I can’t tell anyone what’s really ‘appened…”

“You’ve got me to talk to- that’ll have to do,” he said. He said it in as firm a voice as he could manage, and she nodded.

“Now take your arm off me- you ain’t supposed to go putting yer arm round someone yer don’t know.”

“I thought I did know you.” he said, not sure why she was even commenting on it.

“You don’t,” she said in a very flat tone. She got up, went to the kitchen, mindlessly moved some packets around, and then she turned around and said, “Mickey, why didn’t you try and stop her?”

“What?”

“You could ‘ave done it better than me- you’d ‘ave known what to say, you could’ve talked ‘er out of it…”

“You’re her mother. And…I don’t think anything could’ve stopped her, especially not me.”

“She never liked me,” This was said in such a depressed tone that Mickey suddenly wanted to reach right through time and space and bring Rose straight back, without the Doctor. Definately without him.

“That’s not true, Jackie.”

“It is true…” But she didn’t seem so convinced now. She stared at him. “What’re you doing ‘ere, anyway? Why’d you come round?”

“I came to see if you were alright. ‘Cause so far, you haven’t been.”

“Oh.”

“Shall I go?” he volunteered.

“Yes,” she said. “Please go. If you stay any longer I might end up angry at you, and that’s not good for neither of us.”

*****

3rd April, 2006

The third of April was the day Mickey made Jackie throw out the alcohol. She wasn’t drinking all that much, really, but it was enough to make him worry. His own father had been an alcoholic, after all.

On coming out of her flat, he was greeted by a boy called Charlie Evans, who he knew vaguely. They’d gone to the same school.

“You’re in there a lot,” Charlie said, pointing to the door. “What’s going on, she giving you blowjobs or something?” He gave a vaguely irritating laugh.

“Sod off,”

“No need to get snappy- people are in her flat all the time.” He dropped his voice. “Bit of a slag, you know? What my mates call her. No wonder her daughter ran off- hey, you were dating her, weren’t you? The daughter, I mean.”

Mickey should have punched him- he really should. He shouldn’t let anyone insult Jackie like that, especially not this wanker- but he didn’t. He just let the idiot wander off.

His life was quickly becoming one long string of missed opportunities. He’d soon run out of chances.

*****

7th April 2006

He’d been thinking.

It would be nice to get one thing right in his life. He wasn’t doing very well so far. Maybe he should get up and go back to the flat.

Maybe he should.

He got up and went back. He resolved not to think about any previous failures- such as the fact he couldn’t get Rose to stay. He couldn’t let himself think about that.

Only about Jackie, for now.

*****

Shireen was back on the wall, and still smoking. Mickey wondered if she stayed there all day, doing nothing. She glared at him as he walked past.

“Pervert…you going back to Jackie’s, are you?”

“Leave me alone, alright?”

“What’s with you and her?”

He stopped.

“No bloody idea, but you think you know, don’t you?”

“I think you’re disgusting,” she snapped.

“And I think I don’t care.” he retorted, and hurried on.

He decided not to think about that conversation. This was added to a growing list of things not to think about, but it didn’t really matter.

*****

5th April, 2006

“There’s never been anyone there for me,” Jackie said in an almost sulky tone. “Only Rose. And she….I suppose she changed her mind, didn’t she? I haven’t ‘eard from her…have you?”

“No,” Mickey said. And then, “I’m there, alright?”

“I suppose you are.”

*****

7th April, 2006

He knocked at the door, again.

“Go away, Mickey,” Jackie called. “We’ve been through this.” She didn’t sound close to tears anymore, but he couldn’t be certain.

“Don’t you want to hear what I’ve got to say, or anything?”

“Not really.”

“Jackie, I’m not going away til you open this door, okay? I can stay here all night.”

He heard her walking away. Maybe she was going to look in Rose’s room, or something. He sat down with his back against the door, and waited.

In two minutes, the door opened and Jackie looked down at him.

“You’re making everything worse,” she said glumly.

“How?”

“You just are. Come in.”

He did.

*****

They sat down on the sofas.

“You’re- you were my daughter’s boyfriend,” Jackie said. “And you’re young, and I’m old-”

“Not that old,”

“And it’s stupid. I want Rose back,” she said, reaching for another tissue as she began crying again. “I want things back to normal.”

Mickey could say nothing.

“Look, you’re nice, I’ll give you that. Actually, you’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met…” She trailed off a little. “But- nothing more than this can go on.”

And Mickey nodded.

*****

3rd April, 2006

His life was quickly becoming one long string of missed opportunities. He’d soon run out of chances…

*****

8th April, 2006

It was only just the eighth of April…it had just gone midnight. For the third time, he left his flat and ran to Jackie’s. He was getting sick of all this. It was beginning to feel like groundhog day.

Shireen was not on the wall, thank god. In fact, no-one was really around at all.

He knocked on the door of Jackie’s flat, and she opened it right away. He wondered if she knew it would be him, or if she’d been hoping it’d be Rose, come back in the middle of the night.

“Me again,” he said.

She sighed, and stepped away from the door. He went in.

“I’m not going to ever be able to get rid of you,” Jackie said.

“I know,” Mickey said. “I was thinking…”

“About what?”

He took a deep breath. “Maybe we’re in a alternate timeline, Jackie. Maybe Rose and the Doctor will get something wrong and we’ll all get shifted back a year, or something. We might as well make the most of it. Don’t you think?”

Jackie just sighed.

“Don’t you think that makes sense?” Mickey asked. “Any sense at all? I mean…Rose did exactly what she wanted. And she’s…I mean, we might as well, too.”

“Sometimes I get the feeling you’re really a bastard,” she answered, and his heart sank. But then she said. “Stay the night.”

*****

1st September, 4031

“No, Rose.”

What was she supposed to do? Ignore him? Of course not.

“But think about it…” she said desperately.

“No, you think about it. Think about all the people back home who you know. You can’t do this to them, can you? Or me.”

And of course he was right.

“I don’t want to think about what’ll happen when I go home, then, if…if we do eventually manage it,” she whispered. “Everything will have changed.”

“Oh, Rose. Listen…I think there is a way. We might have to mess around with the timeline a bit, though. Your timeline. A few things might get…undone.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t think anything major. You won’t get home and discover your dear old mum with two heads or anything like that. Just- setting things back a bit, is all. By a year or two. Perhaps to before you left. But don’t worry, it’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” He nodded. “Yeah.”

“I want things back to normal,” Rose whispered. “I want to keep travelling– this is stupid, so stupid-”

“I know, Rose,” he said sadly. “We can’t always get what we want.”