Overly Devoted Archivist Uncategorized an excellent meme, star wars, the phantom of the opera 0 Comments

dorkshadows:

forthegothicheroine:

morethanprinceofcats:

catie-does-things:

I like to play this game I call “Love Never Dies as the sequel to other things”, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Because you could swap out The Phantom/Christine/Raoul/Meg for almost anybody else and the character motivations would make just as much sense.

For example:

Les Mis: In 1832, Eponine faked her death at the barricade and subsequently fled to Coney Island and opened an amusement park. Ten years later, in 1907, Marius and Cosette come to Coney Island. Eponine has a son who is just Ten Years Old. Cosette is now an abusive alcoholic. Seven and a half minutes of awkward exposition informs us that Marius and Eponine totally banged the night before his wedding to Cosette. In the end, Marius is shot and killed by a jealous (and also not dead) Enjolras, who has fallen in love with Eponine.

Frozen: In 1845, after failing to acquire a crown of his own, Hans moved to Coney Island and opened an amusement park. Ten years later, in 1907, Anna and Kristoff come to Coney Island. They have a son, who is just Ten Years Old. Kristoff is now an abusive alcoholic. Seven and a half minutes of awkward exposition informs us that Anna and Hans totally banged the night before her wedding to Kristoff. In the end, Anna is shot and killed by a jealous Elsa, who has fallen in love with Hans.

The Odyssey: In the 12th century BC, Penelope’s suitor Antinous was secretly saved from death by some minor deity who owed him a favor and brought him to what would one day be known as Coney Island, where he opened an amusement park. Ten years later, in 1907 AD, Odysseus and Penelope come to Coney Island. They have a second son, who is just Ten Years Old. Seven and a half minutes of awkward exposition in dactylic hexameter informs us that Penelope and Antinous totally banged the night before Odysseus’s return. In the end, Penelope is shot and killed by a jealous Euryclea, who has fallen in love with Antinous.

Gotham: In 2015, Barbara Kean leaves Gotham City, moves to Coney Island, and opens an amusement park. Ten years later, in 1907, Jim Gordon and Leslie Thompkins come to Coney Island. Barbara has a daughter, whom she has named after herself, and who is just Ten Years Old. Leslie Thompkins is now an abusive alcoholic. Seven and a half minutes of awkward exposition informs us that Jim and Barbara totally banged the night before she left. In the end, Jim is shot and killed by a jealous Oswald Cobblepot, who has fallen in love with Barbara.

In the late Victorian era Van Helsing leaves London, moves to Coney Island, and opens an amusement park. Ten years later, in 1907, Mina and Jonathan Harker come to Coney Island. They have a son, named Quincarjackbraham, who is just Ten Years Old. Jonathan Harker is now an abusive alcoholic. Seven and a half minutes of awkward exposition informs us that Abraham Van Helsing and Mina totally banged the night they killed Dracula.  In the end, Mina is shot and killed by a jealous Jack, who has fallen in love with Van Helsing.

…this is terrible somebody else do one

In 1840, St. John Rivers leaves England, moves to Coney Island, and opens an amusement park. Ten years later, in 1907, Jane Eyre and Edward Rochester come to Coney Island. They have a son, who is just Ten Years Old. Edward Rochester is now an abusive alcoholic. Seven and a half minutes of awkward exposition informs us that St. John and Jane totally banged the night before her wedding to Rochester.  In the end, Jane is shot and killed by a jealous (and still alive) Bertha, who has fallen in love with St. John.

In 2001, Lord Farquaad faked his death, fled to Coney Island, and opened an amusement park (Duloc 2.0). Ten years later, in 1907, Fiona and Shrek come to Coney Island. They have a son who is just Ten Years Old. Shrek is now an abusive alcoholic. Seven and a half minutes of awkward exposition informs us that Fiona and Farquaad totally banged the night morning before her wedding to Shrek. In the end, Fiona is shot and killed by a jealous fairy godmother, who has fallen in love with Lord Farquaad.

In a galaxy far far away, Luke Skywalker left the Rebel Alliance, moved to Tatooine and opened a amusement park. Ten years later, in 1907, Leia and Han come to Coney Island. They have a son who is just Ten Years Old. Han is now an abusive alcoholic. Seven and a half minutes of awkward exposition reveals that…

oh god I can’t do this one