Okay I can’t get this dumb au out of my head so let’s just go for it – The Goes Wrong Show Ghosts au.
Chris Bean inherits an old theatre (the Cornley Theatre) after a distant family member’s death and decides it’s the perfect place to put on his shows. He drags along his friend and trusty stagehand Trevor and the two begin trying to fix the theatre up.
Chris can see the ghosts that haunt it after a near death experience (that’s obviously caused by Robert), and Trevor can’t. But he does believe Chris after the ghosts haunt him for a week straight. Speaking of the ghosts, in no particular order you have…
- Robert, a WW1 soldier who died the day he became an officer in the theatre that was being used as a training base. He has the power to touch things, though it takes a lot of energy, and uses said powers for chaos. As he should. Died via heart attack after a bomb unexpectedly went off near the theatre.
- Sandra, a 1920s flapper who used to sing at the theatre. She has the power to talk to people through spirit boxes, microphones and recordings but it’s very inconsistent, much to her annoyance. Died after accidentally being knocked out the window during some mid show, ahem, mingling.
- Max, a 1960s janitor who worked at the theatre just for the chance to watch shows for free. He has no powers, but he is by far the happiest to be there, which is sort of a power in itself. Died after slipping on his own cleaning supplies and falling down the stairs.
- Vanessa, a Victorian lady who was given control of the theatre after her father’s passing. Her power is sight, as in she can occasionally be seen by people, which is a shame she since she’d rather not be seen at all. Claims she died of stress after a show went horribly wrong.
- Dennis, a medieval jester who worked and lived in the castle that was on the land where the theatre is now. Sometimes people can hear his bells ringing when they walk by, and he is convinced he’s possessed by a demon, though he doesn’t seem that bothered by it. Died after accidentally drinking poison meant for the king.
- Annie, the youngest of the ghosts, a 90s stagehand turned actor who performed the occasional show in the theatre. She can mess with the lights and the sounds/music if she tries hard enough. Died via electrocution after a leak in the roof caused water to get into some of the equipment she was holding.
- And Jonathan, a…well, nobody’s actually sure. He’s a very vague on when he died and his past is general and no can remember when he showed up. All he has to give away what time he came from is his underwear and socks as he is otherwise naked, and they’re not much help. He can make things levitate, but only if they’re very light. No one has any idea how he died. If you ask, he’ll say it had something to do with a grand piano.
the goes wrong show
How to find a Goes Wrong Show fan in the wild:
Go up to them and ask, “‘Ello Margery, ‘ow’s the bread today?” and await their reply.
The 4 stages of desperation:
‘ello Margery … how’s the bread today?
‘ello Margery how’s the bread today?
From ‘The Cornley Drama Festival Part 1’ – The Goes Wrong Show, S2E4
Robert is my favourite character because every single line of his is absolutely perfect. From Henry Lewis’ amazing delivery to their amazing writing, every single joke lands perfectly, and it’s glorious.
Robert is aiming at the wrong things, he would be an absolute shoo-in for a Brian Blessed biopic.
performances in the corney drama festevil festivile festival
Summer Once Again: Mother, I have returned!
I LOVE THIS SHOW. It is so damn hilarious it’s made me hiccup and choke at the same time, extremely painful, A++ would still highly recommend