The Teacher & The Student | Tom Hodges
obi wan kenobi
My first reaction to this was pretty much to scream, “WELL, GOODBYE” because, holy shit, canon confirmation that Obi-Wan would leave the Jedi Order for Anakin, I’m going to revel in these feelings about my ship, go on without me.
But even beyond that I think it’s really spot-on characterization because Obi-Wan really and truly fully dedicated himself to Anakin, by this point he is 100% going to devote his life to guiding Anakin, wherever that takes him. He would never force Anakin into a choice that wasn’t truly his own, he thinks Anakin belongs with the Jedi (he’s too young, he’s not ready, being part of the Jedi means being part of something bigger/stronger–in other words, Anakin needs that structure in his life), but if Anakin truly wants to go, then Obi-Wan will go with him.
At the same time, one of the central points about Obi-Wan’s character is that one of his greatest flaws (if you want to call it that) is the same as Anakin’s: attachment.
Yoda began to pace the small chamber, the tapping of his gimer stick loud in its silence. “Know do you, Obi-Wan, why reluctant I was for Skywalker to become your apprentice?“
Did
he know? Not for certain. And once he and Qui-Gon had prevailed over
the Council, and Anakin had been made his Padawan, Yoda’s objections had
no longer mattered.“Ah … no, Master,” he said cautiously.Yoda
flicked him a skeptical glance.“Hmmm. Then tell you I will. Reluctant I
was because the same flaw you share, Obi-Wan. The flaw of attachment.”
–Wild Space, by Karen MillerThe above moment is about Obi-Wan’s dedication to his vow to see Anakin trained, but that moment doesn’t exist in a vacuum, it exists alongside Obi-Wan’s tendency to become attached to that which he loves–and loves Anakin he does. (Revenge of the Sith, Obi-Wan directly tells Anakin that he loved him.)
This is why I say that Anakin Skywalker is the great love of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s life. It doesn’t matter if I mean it romantically or platonically or in a more familial sense, because he’s attached to Anakin, he loves Anakin, he’s chosen to dedicate his life to Anakin, he would leave the Jedi Order for Anakin, he spends the last 20 years of his life watching over Anakin’s child.
He’s not the only person Obi-Wan has loved, there have been many, in various forms. Qui-Gon Jinn, Siri Tachi, Satine Kryze, the Jedi Order as a whole. But his dedication to and love for Anakin are greater than all of them.
And the biggest tragedy of all this is they both feel the same way AND THEY BOTH ASSUME THE OTHER DOESN’T. And neither of them ever talk about any of it and then it’s too late.
things that keep me up at night
Obi-Wan Kenobi loved Anakin Skywalker??? Canonically. He loved him so much he would have left the Jedi Order for him (CANONICALLY).
and mustafar happened??? And Obi-Wan KEPT loving Anakin?? Even after he cut off Anakin’s remaining limbs and left him in a fire, he loved him. Even after Anakin yelled that he hated him and even after Anakin destroyed everything Obi-Wan had sworn his life to, Obi-Wan still loved him.
Loved him so much that he spent the next twenty years on the absolutely shitty planet Anakin grew up on (spending every day being reminded of Anakin) so he could watch over Anakin’s son (who happens to look just like a baby Anakin)??? And he did so without complaint or hope of reward, but just because he loved Anakin???
And when Luke asked about Anakin Obi-Wan could have said anything because Owen didn’t know shit and didn’t tell Luke shit. He could have said that Anakin was a good guy who went crazy, or he could have lied and said he didn’t know Anakin that well to avoid confronting his feelings, but instead he says so many complimentary things and calls him a dear friend with such fondness and you know he still loves Anakin because how could he not?
And when he meets Anakin again he doesn’t even fight him? They trade blows like once or twice and then Obi-Wan just turns his lightsaber off and just lets Anakin kill him??? Why?? Some say it’s so Luke would see and want Vengeance™ but to be honest that doesn’t seem very Jedi-like. I think it’s more likely that he could not bear to hurt Anakin any more than he already had, especially when confronted with the Suit™ that Obi-Wan all but put him in.
And Anakin does not know any of this. In fact, Anakin dies without knowing that Obi-Wan loved him that much. Anakin spent most of his life believing Obi-Wan just vaguely tolerated him because the Jedi Code forbids attachment and thus, affection. The only time Obi-Wan ever tells Anakin he loves him it’s after he’s cut off three of his limbs and set him on fire so like Anakin is going to believe that?? And Anakin fell in part because Obi-Wan wasn’t there and it felt like Obi-Wan had betrayed him and Anakin loved Obi-Wan so this imaginary betrayal hurt so much?? And Anakin had NO IDEA Obi-Wan spent twenty years on Tatooine looking after Luke??? He had no idea. He probably thought Obi-Wan was off doing Rebel Things not watching over Anakin’s son.
just. look, you can see their relationship as romantic or platonic or familial or however you want, but you can’t deny that these two idiots loved each other and died believing the other hated them, and that’s the most tragic thing imaginable.
