imagine we make contact with an alien species that’s like, vastly technologically superior, they could fucking kill us in a single shot if they really wanted to
and this species has never eaten salad before. and we show them salad and they eat it and they’re like holy living fuck this is tasty. and suddenly they’re offering us huge houses with all kind of advanced technological shit and incredible medical care and all the amenities and everything, with the only condition that we keep making salad for them.
and like, salad isn’t even hard to make. grab some plants, dump em in a bowl. it doesn’t have to be fancy salad, they’ll fall all over themselves for the most mediocre salad in the world. we can make so much salad that we’re practically drowning in it, even if we eat some of the salad ourselves. and in exchange we’re protected from danger, we have great living conditions, it’s basically paradise compared to life on earth
imagine
now realize that this is what bees have done to us
I felt like I needed to clarify some things before we could continue any more conversations on this godforsaken website.
I’m very proud of the European Robin, I think I really captured it.
this is a very accurate birb agenda illustration
European robin is LOVE and I never really thought robins in other countries wouldn’t be like our robins, because they’re cute balls of fluff and rage and I just took a pic of one of them yesterday here, have,
also one with my coworker for scale (we were both taking pics bcs we’re cute bird lovers) (all animals, really) (actually I didn’t mean for her to be in the pic but well it happened) (our uniforms suck) (we were crouching) BABY BIRB U R NOT A BABY BUT U R MY BABY LET ME HUG YOU PLS
Wait, Robins aren’t the same everywhere?!
They should be, but they aren’t! Colonists in North America named the native birds “robins” after the ones they knew in Europe, but the birds aren’t related at all, they just both have red chests.
For further astonishment:
* the 1964 film Mary Poppins is supposedly set in London, but the fake bird that young Julie Andrews holds is actually an American robin (Turdus migratorious)
* the American robin lays spectacular turquoise blue eggs, thus the term “robin’s egg blue.” This is meaningless in Europe, where robin’s eggs are beige. A paler, greener version in the UK is called “duck egg blue”.
* the “rocking robin” and the “red red robin [who] comes bob bob bobbing along” are American robins.
* Robin from Batman was probably named after Robin Hood, although he does have a red shirt.
* the meaning of the name “Robin” is just short for “Robert.” The bird in England was historically called the Redbreast, but in England in Ye Old Days there was a trend for giving nicknames to animals. Thus, Jack Daw, Jenny Wren, and Robin Redbreast are now the names of birds in English. Now, we mostly call them “robins” and drop the “redbreast” most of the time.
* There may be a pleasing synergy with Robin Goodfellow, aka Puck and Hob Goblin, the Elvish mascot and primal spirit of England. But probably not intentional
* But basically Robin Hood, Robin Goodfellow, Robin from Batman, and American/European robins are all just named after that one guy. Robert. What a legend
When people call you a “snowflake” just remember they’re quoting Fight Club, a satire written by a gay man about how male fragility causes men to destroy themselves, resent society, and become radicalized, and that Tyler Durden isn’t the hero but a personification of the main character’s mental illness, and that his “snowflake” speech is a dig at how fascists use dehumanizing language to breed loyalty from insecure people.
So basically people who say “snowflake” as an insult are quoting a domestic terrorist who blows up skyscrapers because he’s insecure about how good he is in bed.
Sara Petty created a collage of tweets she found, alongside pictures of her wearing the clothes that the tweets said not to wear with a big smile strewn across her face. The result was glorious and in addition to helping other girls feel good about their bodies, she also helped herself.
Hi, I’m here to propose that A.A. Milne’s distinctive syntax in the Winnie-the-Pooh books is a major origin of modern Capital Letters Used For Emphasis On The Internet. Observe:
(in which Pooh wryly self-deprecates)
(in which Eeyore masters modern sarcasm)
(in which Eeyore is vagueblogging)
(in which Owl says something i would absolutely type in the YOOL 2017)
(In which Eeyore continues to be a shining example to us all)
(in which Pooh describes a Big Mood)
(in which Piglet has a Relatable Experience)
I could go on, but you can read the books and find your own. It’s a weirdly modern-feeling layer to an old, thoroughly enjoyable story and most of the original Pooh books are online for free. I cited from this online text upload of the book. Enjoy!
‘3D view’ button and
