2000 years later: “The strange glyphs appearing on gravestones from the early 21st century onward remain a mystery. These astoundingly complex patterns (no two exactly the same) have been found on many other 21st century artifacts, and are believed to have religious significance. Recovered images suggest they were probably sacred to the ancient North American god, Apple, and were meant to ensure that the departed would continue to be financially successful in the afterlife.”
As an archaeologist I can confirm that that is pretty much exactly what will happen in the future.
ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS I’VE SPENT SHIT TONS OF MONEY ON CALLIGRAPHY PENS FOR ART AND YOU’RE TELLING ME I CAN MAKE MY OWN FOR LESS THAN 4 FRIGGEN DOLLARS??? THIS IS BULLSHIT MY ENTIRE ART LIFE IS A LIE
I swear on everything that this isn’t just some stupid contest to gain followers. I’ve been wanting a new macbook for ages so now I have two. I was thinking about returning/selling my old one, but I wouldn’t be getting the same amount or more than what it was originally priced. Anyway, who doesn’t like free stuff?
Here’s how this will work:
You do not have to follow me. I don’t want any followers that don’t actually like my blog. I do ask of you to kindly check out my blog though. If you like it cool, if not, then your loss.
Likes do not count for anything, only reblogs will count. You can reblog this as many times as you’d like.
Do not create any extra blogs or whatever, I will be looking on your archives.
Winner will be chosen like as if it were a raffle drawing.
Winner will be contacted via ask, so make sure that you have that on/open.
This will be over on May 21st 2015, and the winner will be announced on the 22nd.
I am doing this basically to make someone else happy and also because I accidentally deleted the other contest I was doing. Please don’t participate if you already own a Mac, but you can if you’d like I guess. I really don’t care if you live in Hogwarts, anyone is allowed to enter.
Here’s what the winner will get:
Macbook Pro
Protective Case
All power leads and cables
The Mac is basically brand new.
If you think this is “stupid” of me to do or anything of that sort, than just ignore it. It’s that simple.
Q. “Why would you just giveaway an expensive laptop to a stranger?”
A. TO MAKE THEM HAPPY!
Q. “How do we know you aren’t bullshitting us?”
A. To make a fake contest just for followers is stupid, plus, I have a picture of me holding the mac and you can clearly see my url etc on the mac.
Good luck!
Bruh the timing is perfect my laptop died like last month omg
Chinese scientists have created the world’s lightest material.
Graphene aerogel that is seven times lighter than air. It is so light that one cubic inch can be balanced on a blade of grass, the stamen of a flower, or the fluffy seed head of a dandelion. (Source & More Information)
So I was going to write a post talking about Jean-Honoré Fragonard’s painting The Swing, which is, as you all know, business as usual around here. Now, the first step in any art post is finding a high-quality image, which put me on Google, which in turn led me to this.
And this is–I mean. Look, this moment slipped my mind, all right? I saw Frozen once, was deeply unimpressed, and never thought about it again. I forgot that it contained a blissfully unaware nod to a dirty painting.
Yeah. Surprise! The Swing is a dirty goddamn painting.
Duh, you say, that guy’s looking straight up her dress, but that’s mid-range dirty at best, this is eighteenth century France, the aristocracy got dirtier than that on their way to breakfast. And presumably also at breakfast. A swing isn’t good enough! More filth! Better filth, you demand, beating your hands on the table.
Well, let me just assure you that you are looking at genuinely fun dirty, and hopefully that holds you over while we take a little trip into background. Buckle in for a very French story.
Sometime in the 1760s, painter Gabriel François Doyen, fresh off the success of several large-scale religious paintings, was contacted by a “gentleman of the court”, who had seen his work and been moved by it. Pleased by the attention, Doyen went to meet this courtier, and discovered him at what he later described as “a pleasure house”, entangled an an amorous embrace with his mistress. The following exchange, related by Doyen to a writer friend of his several years after the fact, went something like this:
“Monsieur Doyen, I was so moved by your work! The angels, the colors, the piety. Its beauty is unrivaled!”
“Well, that’s–very kind of you. Although I do…that is. If you and your–ah, young lady would rather I returned later–”
“Nonsense, sit down, sit down! You should be as comfortable as we are.”
At which point Doyen, more or less trapped, did pull up a chair, although presumably not without giving it a surreptitious wipe with his handkerchief first.
The young aristocrat, whose identity is unknown, was apparently so impressed by Doyen’s religious work that he hoped to commission the artist for something decidedly less religious.
Just try to imagine it: Doyen sitting on the edge of some louche-looking parlour chair while a young man in a highly noticeable state of undress cuddles with his equally nude lady friend and describes what will surely be a masterpiece.
“I should like to see madame–” (history doesn’t tell us if he booped her nose here, but I like to imagine he did) “On a swing, being pushed by a bishop. But you will place me in such a way that I will be able to see the legs of the lovely girl, and better still, if you would like to enliven your picture a little more…”
Now you’d think, wouldn’t you, that Doyen would have gone a little pale at this and made his excuses, but hilariously, he appears to kind of get into it, all of a sudden suggesting, “Ah Monsieur, it is necessary to add to the essential idea of your picture by making Madame’s shoes fly into the air and having some cupids catch them.”
Flying shoes, he said. Essential, he said. Remember that for later.
In the end though, for whatever reason, Doyen decided not to take the commission, and passed it to Jean-Honoré Fragonard, who took the idea, looked at it, decided “too tame.”
Now, the only thing he really changed from the initial idea was the bishop. The man pushing the swing is now just a dude. A significantly older dude than the young man in the foreground, though, which is notable. We don’t know for certain why this alteration was made, maybe Fragonard didn’t want to get on the wrong side of the church. Or maybe he just sucked at drawing vestments.
The old not-bishop is hidden in shadow, holding the rope of the swing, his age and restraint rendering him unimportant. This is an image for the young and passionate. The girl on the swing leaves the trees behind, flying with her knees open towards the statue of Cupid, who holds a finger to his lips, signifying the illicit nature of this encounter. And like, make no mistake, this is an encounter. Our unnamed aristocrat lies on the ground, twined around with blossoming undergrowth, his eyes directed beneath her skirts, and his arm erect, reaching for what he sees. He holds his hat in his hand, a funny little detail until you remember that in late 18th century erotic art, men’s hats (and their bared heads) were often directly analogous with their dicks. No one ever said Rococo was subtle, okay.
The swing (and the young lady on it) are at the peak of their movement, all fluttering pinks and the soft, sinuous curve of her body beneath the glistening silk, and just as she’s gone as far as she can go, positioned over her lover’s outstretched arm, with her toes pointed at Cupid–her shoe flies off. (A missing shoe, by the way, and a bare foot, were neck-and-neck with the broken pitcher in the French Symbols Of Lost Virginity Sweepstakes.)
All of which is to say, The Swing is a painting of an orgasm.
I almost don’t know where to take it from here. Um, let’s see. Well, this became an iconic image of the Rococo period, thanks to the rich colors, freedom of movement and the finished image’s contagious joy. Mostly-contagious, anyway, Enlightenment philosophers hated it, presumably because they weren’t getting laid. But it really is hard not to smile looking at it. That girl’s having a great time.
Such a great time, in fact, that Anna from Frozen probably shouldn’t be reenacting it. Even with both her shoes on.
Well… I mean, considering Anna’s hoping to hook up at that party, it might not be TOTALLY inaccurate……..
“On the day before the 1996 presidential election, thousands of Americans waited anxiously to hear if Sen. Bob Dole had bumped President Bill Clinton from his seat.”
Mathematics professor Jeremiah Farrell created this ingenious puzzle to appear in the New York Times on November 5th, 1996, before the presidential election had run its course. Farrell specifically chose the surrounding clues with double meanings in order to allow both BOBDOLE and CLINTON to be correct answers, accurately announcing the election results.
William had a dream of bringing electricity and running water to his village. And he was not prepared to wait for politicians or aid groups to do it for him. The need for action was even greater in 2002 following one of Malawi’s worst droughts, which killed thousands of people and left his family on the brink of starvation.
Unable to attend school, he kept up his education by using a local library. Fascinated by science, his life changed one day when he picked up a tattered textbook and saw a picture of a windmill. Mr Kamkwamba told the BBC News website: “I was very interested when I saw the windmill could make electricity and pump water.
“I thought: ‘That could be a defense against hunger. Maybe I should build one for myself’.” When not helping his family farm maize, he plugged away at his prototype, working by the light of a paraffin lamp in the evenings. But his ingenious project met blank looks in his community of about 200 people.
“Many, including my mother, thought I was going crazy,” he recalls. “They had never seen a windmill before.” [x]
In 2014, William Kamkwamba received his 4 year degree at Dartmouth College in Hanover, New Hampshire where he was a student.
Plans to rebuild one of the seven wonders of the ancient world, the Pharos Lighthouse, have been approved by Egyptian authorities, it’s reported.
The feat of ancient engineering, which is also known as the Lighthouse of Alexandria, was completed around 280BC, and is estimated to have been between 110m and 130m high. The plan is to rebuild the lighthouse a few metres away from where it once stood in the coastal city of Alexandria, as the original location is now occupied by the Qaitbay Citadel, the Cairo Post reports. Egypt’s permanent committee on antiquities has approved the proposal and now it’s just down to the Alexandria’s regional government to sign-off on it, Dr Mostafa Amin, secretary general of the Supreme Council of Antiquities, tells the Youm7 website. Read more.