galactic discourse and conspiracy theories in star wars

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alrightanakin:

[0300 tinfoil hat blogging voice] alright now bear with me everyone but consider this: you know how leia organa doesnt look anything like the queen and vicroy? what if (what if) shes actually the child who supposedly died with senator amidala of naboo and the organas took her in to hide her from the emperor 

[co-conspirator who’s also awake at 0300 and had too much caf] okay let’s say that youre right – who’s her father??

[original blogger, tinfoil hat on more firmly than ever] okay hold on to your hats younglings but consider: you know how at the height of the clone wars she was always mentioned with anakin skywalker and there were all of these conspiracy theories and fansites that were convinced they were sleeping together? what if it’s skywalker! and thats another reason to hide leia from the emperor! she’s the daughter of a jedi!!!!!!!!

[obligatory nay-sayer voice] what?!?! please if the amidala was sleeping with anyone it was obviously skywalker’s master obi wan kenobi i mean cmon

[orginal blogger, now getting heated] princess leia looks nothing like kenobi! just look at old holos of skywalker and amidala! she looks just like them!!!! not to mention skywalker (much to obi wan “the negotiator” kenobi’s consternation) had a rather infamous temper and (if the gossip sources are to be believed) so does the princess of alderaan 

[co-conspirator, now feeling the need to come to their friend’s aid] now im not saying that this is all 100% Proven but theres nothing that says princess leia cant be the child of padme amidala and anakin skywalker adopted by the alderaanian royal family to hide her from the emperor

[obigatory nay-sayer] okay you have me there but (!) what about luke skywalker? the kid who is literally claiming to be anakin skywalker’s kid and was apparently hidden on some backwater outer rim planet by obi wan kenobi for 19 years????? check and mate

[random person whos’s been watching this whole exchange] okay but hear me out okay? what if…………theyre twins and were separated at birth so they could be better hidden from the emperor and vader

[everyone] loses their goddamn minds