iamatinyowl:

There is a really popular post on this site like “men who slam doors are making sure you know how much they want to hit you” and I can’t find the post but I wish it would stop because it is not true and it has the potential to spread a lot of panic and anxiety in already traumatized people.

Slamming doors, stomping your feet, punching pillows, throwing rocks at the ocean, anything physical that doesn’t hurt anyone is an excellent way to deal with anger; it is actually pretty common advice in anger managment (or any type of emotional mediation therapy) to let off some steam when you’re furious so you don’t say or do something in the heat of the moment.

When a person is angry their body floods with adrenaline and it doesn’t just go away so acting out something physically helps your body metabolize all that adrenaline so that you CAN take a few breaths and discuss something calmly.

There are three rules to healthy anger management:
1. You can’t hurt yourself

2. You can’t hurt others

2. You can’t break things that aren’t meant to be broken

This is a pretty common type of anxiety thinking for abuse/trauma survivors and if you find it triggering you should definitely talk to whoever is doing the door slamming about them finding an alternate way to throw off that excess energy. But by itself slamming doors doesn’t mean someone wants to hit you, it’s actually a coping skill for emotional mediation!