katzedecimal:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

baronessbamf:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

ohgodhesloose:

missharleenfquinzel:

missharleenfquinzel:

missharleenfquinzel:

I imagine insurance companies in Gotham can’t cover destruction from all villains, so they have plans called things like “Pick 4″. And you pick 4 villains to be covered in your policy. Kinda like putting your chips on certain squares in roulette. And of course there are plans like “Pick 5″ for more money.

And much like roulette, it becomes a bet on which villains are gonna fuck shit up that year. “Honey, remind me to call up the insurance company and take The Riddler off our policy. He’s been pretty quiet and Halloween’s coming up so I’d like to put Scarecrow back on there.”

“What do you mean this isn’t covered!? My policy covers Joker, Riddler, Scarecrow, and Two Face! And Two Face robbed my bank so you have to pay for this!”
“Sir, if you recall, you took Two Face off your policy to replace it with protection against The Arkham Knight.”
“….Oh yeah. What a weird week that was.”

People pretty much ALWAYS get covered against Joker because…come on duh. One particular year Penguin was abnormally active and screwed everyone over because NO ONE put him on their policies. 

Insurance companies used to lump Joker and Harley together because Harley was pretty much just an extension of Joker but after she started breaking away from him they had to discontinue that deal. (Aka the REAL reason people are pissed she’s not with Joker anymore. It’s all about insurance policies.)

This is brilliant.

“I had Ventriloquist insurance damn it”

“No, you had insurance against the Arnold Wesker Ventriloquist, it was the Peyton Riley Ventriloquist who shot up your club and killed a bunch of people

If you’d taken out SCARFACE insurance like we suggested…”

“Hey I had Poison Ivy insurance!”

“Well technically Sir, while it was one of her trees that fell on your car the storm that tossed it across Burnley was caused by the Weather Wizard”

“OH FUCK OFF HE DOESN’T WASN’T EVEN LISTED AS AN OPTION HE’S STAR CITY YOU JERKWADS.”

“I’m sorry sir but your Mr Freeze insurance only covered the pre-Flashpoint version of him

I’m afraid he was retconned away and the current version is different enough to be considered a seperate entity and so doesn’t fall under the terms of your policy”

“This is outrageous, let me talk to your manager”

“I’m afraid that the manager wasn’t a straight white man created in the seventies and so the last crisis retconned her away as well, we’re really not sure how to deal with this situation”

“I’m sorry sir, your Mr. Freeze insurance doesn’t cover Captain Cold.”

“But they do the same thing?”

“I’m sorry, sir, our records indicate that you were offered extended coverage for visiting super-villains and you declined.”

“But they’re both cold guys!  They do the same thing!”

“Mr. Freeze uses a freeze gun, sir, it shoots ice and snow onto things.  Captain Cold uses a cold gun, it lowers the target’s temperature to absolute zero.  According to our Central City branch records, it does considerably more damage and carries a higher deductable.”