You Think You Know Your Name (Turn of the Earth #9)

Rose left Earth, but her mother and friends remained there. Mickey meets another girl, Jackie tries not to think about her dying mother, and the Bad Wolf hunts them all.

#1- Not The End Of The World– Mickey after Rose
#2- So Are You– Jackie before Aliens of London
#3- It’ll Be Alright– Trisha during AOL/WWIII
#4- Coward In Your Own Story– Mickey visits Clive’s family
#5- The One I Love– Trisha and Mickey go on a date, as friends- they hope.
#6- The Escape– Shireen, Trisha, and Jimmy Stone
#7- Mother’s Day– Jackie and her mother
#8- Meltdown– Mickey is summoned to Cardiff

#9- You Think You Know Your Name
Rating: PG13
Concrit: Yes please. :)
AN: You really have had to have read Meltdown, before reading this. :)

You Think You Know Your Name

“I saw Jimmy the other day,” Shireen said. “He’s gone and lost his job, my mum says,”

“Oh,” Trisha answered. “How come?”

“Threw a tin of baked beans at his boss.”

They were sitting on Jackie’s sofa, awaiting Mickey’s return. Jackie was in the kitchen doing nothing. The TV was on the news channel: something had just happened in Cardiff. An explosion, or something.

Time was ticking.

“Try ringing Mickey’s mobile again,” Jackie called from the kitchen. She was lighting up a cigerette.

“His mobile’s off.” Trisha said.

“Well, try it again.”

She did, and got nothing.

“He’ll be back tomorrow,” Shireen said, “If he’s not, then we can worry.”

“It’s Rose I’m worried about,” Jackie said desperately. “Especially since the Doctor probably caused all this.”

*****

Finally, more than a hour later, Trisha dialled Mickey’s home phone and he answered.

“Mickey!” she said in relief. The other two gathered round.

“Is Rose all right?” Jackie asked. “Ask him if Rose is all right.”

“Is Rose all right, Mickey? Jackie wants to know.” Trisha said.

“Rose is fine,” Mickey said, somewhat cooly. “She’s gone back off with the Doctor. I want to go to bed, or something- I’ll see you later.”

He put the phone down.

Trisha sighed. She felt close to tears.

“He’s gone. Rose is fine, he says…I think I’m going to go home.”

*****

She had nightmares that night.

THE BIG BAD WOLF IS ALSO SEEN AS PREYING ON THE VULNERABLE, SIGNALLING THE END OF INNOCENCE.

Rose came wandering out of the computer, looking annoyed. She spotted Trisha.”Oh. Hello. So, what made you think Mickey could even like you? You’re just a fat little girl. Anyway, we’ve got bigger things to worry about. The world’s about to end.”

“But w-what about the Doctor?” Trisha stammered.

“The Doctor’s dead. I killed him.”

TURNS OUT YOU DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING.

She woke up, terrified. She hid under the quilt covers- nothing could get her there. Although of course it could. Nightmares always had some basis in reality.

She would have to have a long talk with Mickey tomorrow. She suspected that it would be bad- although not as bad as whatever was bearing down on them now.

*****

When she went to Mickey’s house the next day, she went via the shops to pick some things up for her mother. On the way she passed one of the old Rose ‘Missing’ posters.

She felt like collapsing there and crying. So this is what it feels like to actually have some sort of adventure, she thought. Not all fun and games, at all. Hell, I’ve probably lost Mickey and everything…

She went on to Mickey’s flat, and rung the doorbell before she had a chance to change her mind.

Mickey opened it.

“Hello,” he said.

“Hello,” she answered, quietly. “We need to talk about everything. About what happened in Cardiff.”

Mickey nodded. He looked like he was dreading something. “Come on in.”

She went in, and sat down.

“That explosion in Cardiff wasn’t really an explosion, it was sort of…a rift,” Mickey said. “It was one of the Slitheen, who survived- she was behind the nuclear power plant. But it’s not really important-”

Not really important?”

“Well, it’s hard to explain. Weird stuff happens when the Doctor’s around. But anyway,” he sighed. “I met Rose. We talked…”

“About what?” Trisha asked, although she could guess what was coming. “Did you tell her about me? Because we’re not…we’re barely even dating, Mickey.”

“I mentioned you, she wasn’t happy,” Mickey said quickly.

“I see,” Determined not to cry, she blinked fast and said, “And she heads away with another man, leaving you behind, but no- you’re the one in the wrong. And me by default, I suppose.”

Mickey muttered something.

“What was that?”

Two men. They picked up a new friend. He’s from…um…the fiftieth century, I think. Something like that.”

Trisha gave a hollow laugh. “What else happened, Mickey?”

“I might have lost my temper a little,” he whispered.

“Hmm.”

“It’s not even that she’s my girlfriend,” Mickey said furiously. “It’s not even that she was my friend and I loved her and everything. She always reminds me of all the stuff I did wrong. And if only I’d done it right, if only I was less of a coward, I could have stayed with her and everything. And I hate thinking that, because I could be happy here. You know? You’ve been so good to me, Trisha. It’s just…you know…I sort of want everything, Rose and a normal life and you still around and being part of a bigger world as well, knowing stuff about the universe, and I can’t.”

Trisha felt like hitting him, almost. But she knew she wouldn’t- it just wasn’t her style, if indeed she had a style. Besides, what he had just said had struck a chord with her.

“What did you say to her about me, Mickey?” she asked.

He flushed. “I said you’d lost weight.”

Trisha realised this was probably one of the worst days of her life so far. No it wasn’t- the day she’d looked at the Bad Wolf website had been the worst day, because now she knew – she knew something Mickey didn’t, something the others didn’t, possibly something even the Doctor and Rose didn’t. The weight of that knowledge threatened to crush her- she wasn’t like Rose. She could do nothing- nothing good enough. She’d been living for the past few months in the shadow of an unattainable person, and she’d liked it.

“It’s like,” she said hopelessly, “this will never be worked out. Because everyone in the universe is so damn selfish.”

“Yes,” said Mickey. That should have made things a whole lot worse, but didn’t. I see, thought Trisha. Some of us, like Rose and Mickey, get to make proper choices. The rest of us? We have a word here, a shake of the head there- little gestures that change our own little worlds. Because if we don’t change our own worlds, who will?

“I’m sorry,” Mickey said. “I…”

“It’s alright,” she said quietly.

“I’ve got something else to tell you.”

A nagging fear rose up inside her. So he’s done something. Not Rose or the Doctor- him.

“I’ll get it over with,” he said. “Remember what I told you once- that the Doctor refused to let me come? That Rose wanted me to but he said no?”

“Yeah…”

“He asked me,” Mickey said, “and I said no.”

For some reason, for a few seconds, it was absolutely not a world-shattering revelation. In fact, the words Is that all? fluttered through her brain. Then, gradually, it began to sink in.

“You said no? Why?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “Because I thought- I thought I’d be useless, that I might get someone killed, millions killed- Mickey the idiot. God, I am all right. I thought about myself, not about her- I didn’t want her to know what a coward I was…”

“That’s not not wanting to be a coward,” Trisha said. “That’s not wanting to be a killer.”

“No. I was a coward,” Mickey said flatly. “And I’ve hurt you on top of everything else- I’ve been lying. I reckon you deserve better. I’m so, so, sorry, Trisha.”

*****

She lef the flat and sat outside. It was, she noticed bleakly, the same place she’d met Mickey for the first time. There was the dustbin…

It seemed like such a long time ago. What would have happened, she thought, if she’d had one conversation with him and then put him out of her mind?

She was livid all of a sudden. It seemed like everything had been denied to her- the travelling, the stars, the entire universe, and the boy who had perhaps been her first real friend. He’d been lying– he’d betrayed her, in some sort of way. Barely able to see through her tears, she sat down on the dustbin and cried furiously.

And then she felt a hand on her shoulder. It wasn’t Mickey, though- it was Shireen.

“Boy trouble?” Shireen said dryly.

Trisha managed to laugh. “Oh, god. Sort of.”

*****

Shireen sighed and lit up another cigarette.

“Thing is, though…if he only ever kissed you once…he’s done everything with Rose.”

“Uh-huh.” That in itself did not make her feel better.

“I don’t like to think about it,” Shireen said. “Sometimes I think if I met the Doctor I’d kick him in the balls- if he has them. Anyway. Shall we go home?”

They went home.

“Jackie’s pissed at Mickey, too,” Shireen said as they walked. “Because he didn’t want her coming to Cardiff. Although I reckon maybe it’s better she didn’t.”

“Yeah…well…”

“Look, you’ll meet other boys. Ones more attractive than Mickey. I’ll take you clubbing one of these days…”

Trisha snorted. “Me? Clubbing? I’m fat.”

“No you’re not. Not really. You’re way thinner than you were,” Shireen flushed a little, possibly remembering her ‘lardball’ comment. “Anyway…this is your place, right? I’ll see you later.”

Trisha watched her go, and remembered she hadn’t told her anything about the Bad Wolf. That couldn’t be good.

*****

Her home felt something vaguely like a home for the first time in years, but the feeling soon went away again.

Sam was on the phone, making arrangements for a friend to stay over for the weekend. But in the background- probably so loudly that his friend could hear- Rob was arguing with his mother again.

“Shit, woman- you think you’re any good at this? You raised a bunch of losers- a goddamn vandal-”

Sam pressed the phone fiercely against his ear.

“-and a fat spineless bitch! It’s because of you that I didn’t stay with Josephine-”

All Trisha could do was leave, but as soon as she’d backed out into the corridor she heard Sam put the phone down.

“I hate you both,” he said flatly, and also left the room, pushing right past her and barely taking note.

Trisha sighed, and felt near tears.

“Grow up, Rob. You ruin everything.”

The phone rang.

Rob glared at her. “You get it.”

“What, me, a fat spineless bitch? Do you really think I’m capable?”

“TRISHA!” her mother shouted.

Cursing in her head, she answered the phone.

“Trisha?” came Mickey’s voice on the other end. “I forgot something. The Doctor knows about the Bad Wolf, and he said it was just a coincidence.”

Thousands of emotions threatened to crush her.

“Is that really what he said?”

“I know you might not believe me,” Mickey said sadly, “but that’s exactly what he said.”

“I see. Thank you, Mickey,” she said, polite to the last. She put the phone down, and stood there shaking all over.

This had to end soon.

*****

But the nightmare came again that night: the doorbell rang and it was Rose.

“Trisha, I need your help. The Doctor’s gonna die if I don’t save him. You need to find Mickey for me-”

She woke up. She lay there for a while, and looked at the clock. Nearly half-one in the morning.

She didn’t want to go back to sleep- the nightmares would come again. But she was tired, that was the problem. And she could feel herself slipping back to sleep even now.

She drifted off.

“Don’t you know what the Bad Wolf is, Trisha? No? Aren’t you supposed to be scared of the Bad Wolf? Are you scared of ME?”

Trisha backed away into the computer.

“You’re not Rose. Go away. Please.”

Rose turned back into Rose again.

“Trisha, I need your help…”

Then she just went away again, and Trisha drifted in and out of sleep and watched the clock.

The future was coming.