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Dear Typical British Weather,

NOT. IMPRESSED.

Dear people who push in front in the lunch queue,

There is a special place in hell for all of you. MWAHAHAHA.

Dear prequel bashers on the radio,

Quit it. You’re not funny.
…actually, you are funny, very much so, but not when you do that.

Dear allergic reactions,

I HATE YOU WITH EVERY FIBRE OF MY BEING THAT ISN’T IN PAIN.

Love…me.