Title: No Matter
Author: sarah531
Rating: PG13
Fandom: Doctor Who, Sherlock Holmes
AN: This is set after the Hiatus for Holmes and Watson (oh, and it’s the bookverse, despite my icon) and after Human Nature for the Doctor and Martha.
Summary: A detective, a doctor, a would-be doctor and a Doctor walk into a bar.
No Matter
Watson and the Doctor examined the corpse.
“You know, Mr Henley is right,” the Doctor said, standing up. “Nothing caused it. She’s in fine health, but she happens to be dead. It’s very odd.” He took his sonic screwdriver from his pocket.
“Don’t get that out here!” Martha said.
“As the actress said to the bishop,” the Doctor answered vaguely. He moved the little blue light along the unmoving body on the floor.
“None of them have ever seen anything like that before,” Martha said. And indeed the other people in the room were staring.
“Mr Henley,” Holmes said, “perhaps you ought to go downstairs and tend to your wife.” Mr Henley opened his mouth, closed it, and left.
“What is it, Doctor?” Watson asked, staring as if hypnotised at the blue light.
“It’s only a sonic screwdriver.”
“It sort of does anything,” Martha explained.
“In this case, it’s given me a pretty accurate diagnosis.” the Doctor said. “Nothing happened to cause this woman’s death. She just died. That really oughtn’t to happen.”
“So what do we do?” Martha asked.
The Doctor turned the sonic screwdriver off and stood up. “Well,” he said to Holmes, “this is really your department. However…I’m pretty sure you’ll need me for this one. People don’t just drop dead. Whatever went on here is probably alien.”
“Like you,” Watson said. “Doctor, did you make this happen?”
“No,” the Doctor said. “Granted, things do tend to happen while I’m around. Bad things, sometimes. Death quite a lot of the time. But I didn’t do that!” He looked very thoughtful and very sad for a moment or two, and then suddenly hurled himself out of the door. “Going downstairs!” he yelled. “Might interview that bloke.”
The other three stared after him.
“He’s lost someone, hasn’t he?” Watson finally said. “Quite recently.” Holmes gave him a look but said nothing.
“Rose,” Martha said. Then she remembered. “Oh wait, no, it was Joan.”
The two men waited for her to continue, and although Martha didn’t really want to she said, “He was in love with her. They loved each other. But they couldn’t be together. And I think she said…hard things…to him.”
“This is interesting but utterly irrelevant, Martha,” Holmes said. He was examining the corpse now too, frustration in his eyes. “You are talking about the human within him. Tell us about the alien.”
“Martha,” Watson said gently, “I know so very little of him, but perhaps by some accident he did this. How else could this be explained?”
“Maybe that lady died from natural causes,” Martha said desperately. “Maybe you missed something.”
“That is very rare,” Holmes said.
“Listen, we go all over the place,” Martha said. “There’s always death. He never causes it. He’s just there.”
With a sigh Holmes stood up. “There’s nothing else we can do here,” he said. “We shall advise Mr Henley that that woman died naturally. Then we shall go with the Doctor and see what wonders he has to show.”
The three of them went downstairs to be greeted with Mr Henley’s angry face.
“The man who accompanied you- he is deluded! He is insane! He spoke of ‘gelth’ and ‘darr-lecks’…”
“He is a lunatic,” Holmes said calmly, “but no matter, he shan’t bother you again.”
The man paused, torn between anger and curiousity, and finally said, “Sir, can you solve this? Can you give us any help?”
“Give me every detail and every fact, man, and I shall see what I can do.”
Mr Henley considered this. “Nothing.”
“Come, man. People don’t just die.” For the first time since Martha had met him, Holmes looked uncertain. She ducked quietly from the room and went outside.
“Mr Henley,” Watson said, “please think carefully.”
Mr Henley thought for a few moments, and then said, “Well, there was only one thing out of the ordinary.”
“What was it?”
“Well, sirs, I was upstairs and I happened to glance out of the upstairs window, the one that looks out on the street. I saw a small girl, holding a red balloon.”
“And?”
“She looked up at the window, sir. She smiled, and it was a wicked smile. Then she waved and ran away. Until now, I had put it out of my mind.”
Holmes and Watson fell silent for a moment, but then Watson persisted, “It was just an ordinary girl?”
“Just an ordinary girl.”
“We will be in touch, Mr Henley,” Holmes said.
They hurried outside. The Doctor, Martha, and three others were waiting for them. The others were policemen, and one of them was clutching the Doctor’s arm. Martha stood to the side, frustration on her face.
“These armed, angry men are friends of yours,” the Doctor said as Holmes approached.
“Inspector Lestrade,” Holmes said with a nod to the lead policeman.
“Mr Holmes,” Lestrade said. “You know this…man?”
A look passed between the Doctor and Holmes, and then Holmes said, “This man is the Doctor. He is an agent of the British Government. He has his…eccentricities, but he has infinitely more knowledge than even I.”
“Oh,” Lestrade said, as he let go of the Doctor’s arm. “I’ll need to see your papers, please, sir.”
The Doctor took the psychic paper from his pocket and handed it over. Lestrade looked at it and gave them back. “Forgive me, sir. Things must be checked. I trust you understand.”
“Not a problem,” the Doctor said brightly.
“I have just come from Howe Street, Mr Holmes,” Lestrade said, disbanding the other policemen with a nod and a gesture, “and so it happens, I was coming to consult you.”
“What has happened?”
“It seems to me to be a very subtle and cunning murder. Two women, sisters, dead. It happened just a few hours ago, according to their serving-maid. One moment they were alive and well, and the next…”
“Don’t tell me,” the Doctor said, before anybody else could speak. “No explanation. No marks, no poison, nothing?”
“Yes,” Lestrade said, looking at the Doctor somewhat warily.
“Take us to the house, please, Inspector,” Holmes said.