i am thirsty
mortals, i’m dreaming that the bar down the street from my house is flooded with beer and i’m one of the mops they’re using to sop it all up. i want a drink. i want to forget life. life is a hideous thing some asshole invented before he found tumblr. before you know it you’re dead, and it was worth nothing. and it takes way too much effort
life is like a bad reality tv show or a fanfic where the characters just keep literally running into each other all the time because it’s hard to find ways for people to actually meet. aka how do you even start living? do you have to get out bed? take a shower? put on clothes? be happy? happiness is basically NZT-48 – spoiler alert, it only exists in fiction. ecclesiastes said “all is vanity”, which basically means nothing, and i agree with that guy who probably never existed (i mean let’s be honest here, history relies on the memories of a lot of dead people)
and omg vanity is great. i mean, come on, what could be more ridiculous than calling a boxer a pugilist, a kitchen a laboratory, the shitter a lavatory, and etc pp? vanity is ridiculous no matter how you apply it. on the one hand, you’ve got kids in third world countries reading vogue and worrying about the proper fit to the one t-shirt they own, and on the other you’ve got kids in the first world spending a shit ton of money on clothes that look like they were donated by the kids in third world countries, so what the actual fuck. the first one is tragic; the second is obnoxious.
there’s basically no such thing as honor or dignity or human pride. look at octomom or fucking charles II, who made a night of a sirloin. i don’t even know what i’m talking about anymore, but moving on to my next point:
there is no point. everything is meaningless. people are nothing. i get to say this, according to wikipedia’s watered down definition of nihilism, because according to me, people have no meaning, as in they mean nothing to me, thus all of mankind is meaningless or actually what the actual fuck am i talking about i don’t even know anymore but i’m pretty sure i fucked that example up. who cares though, basically all men must die fuck the police you’re all pots calling the kettle black etc etc etc
if i was actually intelligent or well-read or even paid attention a little bit in school, i could insert some really good quotes in here to drive my point home, but i know absolutely nothing about anything and am too drunk and don’t give a fuck enough to drill google for Clever Things to Say, so deal with it. i’ve always been a lazy fuck. i mean, i wasted my entire art education playing fruit ninja on my roommate’s iPad (he was a selfish prick and considered thattheft?), and let’s be honest here, it was way more entertaining than figuratively wanking off about my feelings and my perceptions of the world through chalk, charcoal, acrylic etc mediums i mean come on
and that’s all i have to say about me, but don’t even think about judging me (i know you want to) as if you’re all any better
well NEWSFLASH
all humans suck. all supposedly good characteristics are like a step away from douchebaggery
moral people are basically bigots. anyone who can save money is a scrooge. there are more vices in virtue than there virtues, and i need a drink taking a break will be back to write more later
…This is genius